At Growing Generations, we’ve developed a thoughtful and personal egg donation process to provide intended parents and egg donors with a rewarding experience. One of the most common questions we get from intended parents has to do with the connection between the egg donor and child.

Will the donor get attached?

So, will the egg donor want to meet with the child that results from her donation? Rest assured that, in nearly all cases, the resounding answer is no.

For most egg donors, the detachment starts before the process begins. Many of our egg donors tell us they do not feel attached to the eggs they will be donating in a maternal or possessive way. In fact, many say they experience a total disconnect from the eggs. The common sentiment seems to be one of, “These are eggs that I wouldn’t be using on my own. It’s OK to donate them to a loving family.”

Remember that donors do not go into this process uneducated. All of our egg donors are extensively screened for any potential markers of developing attachment and are educated on various aspects of the egg donation process. While we can never guarantee how a woman may feel at the conclusion of her donation, we can tell you that in over 20 years, we’ve never heard of one of our donors regretting her choice. Donors go into the process with the goal of giving something priceless, so donating their eggs is usually met with satisfaction and achievement as opposed to attachment or regret.

Contact our case specialists with questions. We also encourage you to read our article, The Realities of Parenthood Via Egg Donation: Will the Baby Feel Like Mine? in our vast resource center or picking up a copy of the book Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction by senior partner of Growing Generations Dr. Kim Bergman on Amazon.

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.

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