Donor Diaries: Amanda

I learned about egg donation after a friend of mine told me about her experience being an egg donor.  It sounded neat, but I didn’t think about doing it seriously until after I had a child of my own.  After starting my own family, I felt I could relate better to those who want their own families.  After experiencing the feelings of joy from starting a family, and hearing the good experience my friend had, everything just clicked and I knew I wanted to be a donor.

Honestly, the hardest part was gathering the courage to finally just do it! My husband played a big part in helping me start the process.  He was very supportive and encouraging. The actual process of egg retrieval was simple. The hormone injections, the monitoring appointments, and the retrieval procedure were all very simple and straightforward.

I was not expecting the compensation to be as high as it was, so that was a pleasant surprise.  It has helped me to start saving for my daughter’s future.  I have always wanted to make sure she has access to all the opportunities possible for her. I am grateful that my ability to help another family has resulted in my ability to help my own family.

One thing that I wasn’t expecting from the process was how good I would feel about it afterwards. I knew that I wanted to be a donor to help other families, but the reality of the whole thing didn’t really kick in until afterwards.  I’ve felt very grateful that I have been able to be a part of such a wonderful process.

I don’t think donating my eggs has changed me in any big way, but it has definitely made me more aware of those wanting to start families and it has also made me more grateful for my own family.

I recommend donation to all of my friends.  They all know about the positive experience I have had with it. In fact, if someday my daughter wanted to be an egg donor- I would support her completely.  I hope to raise her in such a way that she thinks of others and tries to make a difference in the world. For me, egg donation was a wonderful, humbling experience and I would be happy to donate again.

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for intended parents, surrogates and donors. She is the co-owner of Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019) as well as the children's book You Began as a Wish (Independent Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. She has two adult daughters.