Donor Diaries: Janine

potential egg donor

I became an egg donor after reading an online article about the process and becoming fascinated with it! I even got to meet my first set of intended parents, and that experience was so cool that it moved me to donate twice more. In total, I’ve donated my eggs three times, each time with Growing Generations. Overall, I found the experience so positive that I’ve now referred a friend to Growing Generations to donate her eggs!

The most difficult part for me was the needles. However, I am quick to note that egg donation and those injections forced me to face, and overcome, my major fear of needles! In my first donation I would have to start two hours before my scheduled injection just to summon the courage for the shot. By my third time it really seemed like no big deal. Learning so much about my own body was really incredible.

Along the way I did learn that if you ask the nurse for an injection demonstration, they’ll take their time and show you exactly what you need to be doing. I found that really helpful. If I didn’t ask, the instructions could be brushed over very quickly, as these nurses are so used to reciting the instructions and may forget that you’re new to the process.

People ask me how I’ll feel if these children try to find me when they come of age. I think it’s hard to know how you’ll feel about anything that may or may not happen 18 years (or more) in the future! I imagine it won’t bother me much, but I do wonder how it might impact people in my life at that time. For example, how will any potential boyfriends or my future husband react to that?

Overall, my experience was generally a positive one. I was able to help build families, and put a great deal of money into savings for my future.

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.