Donor Diaries: Lydia

I got into egg donation as a way of “giving back” to the universe after using donor sperm to create my own child.

When it comes to the injections, the fear is really the worst part. The actual injections are so mild on the pain scale. In fact, if you get the angle just right, sometimes you can’t feel them at all.

As for the retrieval, it was over before I knew it. One moment they told me I was going to sleep and the next moment I woke up to a doctor telling me how happy he was with my results and that I was all done. I felt amazing. I felt like that morning I woke up and changed the lives of people that I didn’t even know.

I was lucky enough to hear from Growing Generations after my eggs had been transferred. The most memorable apart of my entire donation was when, on that phone call, I learned that the family was expecting twins. I think it’d be an amazing experience to one day meet those children, but of course it is each child’s individual decision.

People like to talk about compensation for egg donors. Yes, I did receive compensation, and I used it to pay off credit card debt and a car loan. But, for me, the real payment was in the amount of happiness and pride I received from being a donor. It is pure joy to play a tiny part in helping a stranger’s dream come true.

I’ve only donated my eggs once, but I’d absolutely donate again. I am so proud of what I’ve done. I have no regrets at all. In fact, I’m still on the donor list and I’ll stay there until they tell me I’m done donating!

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 22 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for the last two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the American Fertility Association, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 28 years and their two teenage daughters.