Donor Diaries: Marie

pretty woman on bridgeI have always been a bit of a fertile myrtle, and I certainly never planned on having a large amount of children. I have had a few friends who have had fertility issues, which brought to my attention the potential need “out there” for egg donors. I did some research and decided to apply.

My mind made the medical process much scarier than it actually was. I was told exactly how the process would happen, but until you start the shots for the first time, well… that process can’t be fully explained until you actually do it yourself! Ultimately though, I became a pro at my calendar and meds.

The appointments were all really straight forward. I would say the hardest part was not knowing how my body would react. The clinic always identifies the “worst case scenarios” in regards to over stimulation, etc. I hoped that wouldn’t happen, and thankfully my body cooperated, but not knowing for sure was probably the most intimidating part.

This decision is not a part of my daily life, but I did learn a lot. I learned how passionate I am about people and how I want to do what I can to help create amazing families. After donating my eggs I continued to research fertility, egg donation as well as surrogacy. Last year I was able to create another family in a different way. I was a gestational surrogate for a fantastic same sex couple.

If I had not had such a positive experience with my egg donation I may not have ever considered being a surrogate. I am grateful for this journey and feel so thankful that my body has been able to help others.

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.