Donor Diaries: Sally



For me it wasn’t a question of, “Why be an egg donor?” so much as a question of, “Why NOT be an egg donor?” I remember watching fertility issues become a regular occurrence in the media and thought, “I’m a healthy woman, I have good genes, and who knows if I’ll ever want my own kids, so why not give the gift of life?”  In total, I’ve donated two times.

Once I was matched with intended parents, I moved onto the medical process. The truth is that those injections are really no big deal. I don’t have a problem with needles, so it was a simple, painless portion of my evening that was over in just 5-10 minutes. Easy.

The retrieval was also short and painless. While I was at the clinic for longer, the process itself was just another 10-15 minutes of my day. I felt completely normal when I came out of the anesthesia. There was a little bit of cramping for a few days, but nothing bad enough to keep me from going back to work the very next day.

I think it would be great to meet the children someday, especially since I still haven’t decided if I’ll ever have kids of my own. Yes, I have told some close friends and family about my donations and everybody has been supportive and “thought it was a wonderful idea.”

I used my compensation to pay off some student loans and bought plane tickets to visit family on the east coast. The rest went into savings. I have no regrets. Would I ever do this again? Yes, gladly.

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.