Donor Diaries: Sara


I was moved to egg donation based on the idea that, “what goes around comes around.” I know that someday I’ll use a sperm bank to have children of my own, so donating my eggs now seemed like good karma. I’m only sharing a few genes and something that would go to waste otherwise, so it seemed like an easy choice.

The process was pretty simple. I was so impressed with the amount of care and attention to detail that went into the prep leading up to my retrieval. All the screening and appointments were really in depth! The shots I had to give myself in the medical cycle weren’t hard at all, in fact they were kind of fun! After the procedure there was a bit of cramping and some bloating, but nothing that you can’t live with.

I have to admit that I think about the children who have come from my eggs often. I don’t call them my eggs anymore- now they’re little “chicks!” I don’t think about them in a regretful way, quite the opposite really. I will stop and wonder where they’re at now, how their life is and whether or not they’re boys or girls. Maybe I even wonder what their names are. In that moment I am so overwhelmed with happiness. But then the thought is gone, and I just go about my daily life.

At the end of the day, I’m just happy to know that because of my gift a family exists that otherwise may not. Even without ever knowing or meeting me, I know those families will be forever grateful to me. It’s worthwhile knowing that every time they look at those little “chicks” they’ll think of me and my gift.

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.