Known Egg Donors

From time to time intended parents come to Growing Generations with an egg donor already in mind and, in some cases, already having agreed to be their donor. These cases, commonly called known donor cases, are more the exception than the rule. When done with proper screening and forethought, using a known donor can provide the same safety and considerations as an anonymous donor case, while providing additional value to intended parents.

The proposal to help build a family for someone you can be flattering, but there are many things you’ll want to consider before accepting or declining this unique proposal.

Known donors are appealing to intended parents for several reasons. Some intended parents like the idea of knowing the egg donor in everyday life. They’ll have the unique opportunity to have knowledge into their egg donor’s personality and, in some cases, her health and family background throughout her life. Known donor cases can also represent a cost savings to the intended parents. These savings can range between $16,000- $20,000.

As a known egg donor there is a high probability that you meet the child born from your donation. In some cases you may even be able to have a relationship with that child, if that is the wish of both you and of the parents. This unique relationship is one that could be incredibly rewarding or potentially very difficult for you over the years. You’ll want to think about the role you’d want to have in the child’s life, be it very involved or not at all, and talk about it with the intended parents before agreeing to donate.

This decision will also impact those who are closest to you, so you may want to solicit the feelings of your significant other, children, and perhaps even siblings or parents. Finding objective people who know you well and will look out for your best interest, even if it means declining the proposal, can help you to make the soundest decision possible.

Finally, you’ll want to pay close attention to what will be asked of you as an egg donor. You will still be required to complete Growing Generations’ screening process and undergo a medical protocol leading up to the donation, which is a medical procedure itself. A bit of research into the egg donation process in general could be beneficial in your decision making process.

Growing Generations will help facilitate the relationship of a known donor through the contract and egg retrieval phase as we would any other donor relationship. However, once the retrieval has taken place Growing Generations does not typically facilitate the continued relationship between the intended parents and the donor.

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.