Social Media Etiquette For Egg Donors

As social media continues to become an integral part of American society, it’s becoming more and more likely that you may not remember a time in your life before you used these sites. Sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat make it fast and easy to share our lives with the world with just a few swipes of our fingers. While most egg donors decide not to share their experiences openly, others will choose to post about their journey. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you do decide to make your experience public.

  1. What happens online, stays online. Forever. Or at least it can. Cached web pages, Facebook shared posts, screen grabs, retweets, and print offs are all things that can make a comment made in haste and later deleted impossible to ever really go away. While venting frustration can feel very good in the moment, a minute’s worth of release can lead to a lifetime of regret if you’re not cautious.
  2. You’re dealing with someone else’s child. Egg donation is private, and your intended parents are not likely to ever see things that you post about your journey. However, it is important to consider the things that you’ll be saying about the process before posting them.
  3. Keep in mind that you’re also an ambassador. Your posts not only represent you, but Growing Generations and the egg donation community as a whole too. While the process is mostly a simple and smooth process, it can cause some discomfort. Keep in mind that most people have never met an egg donor, and your words may shape their opinion on the process.

Perhaps the best bit of advice to bear in mind is, “When in doubt, ask first.” If you plan to blog or Facebook post about your journey, plan to make that a point of discussion during your initial application and screening process. If nothing else, our staff may be able to point you in the direction of similar donors to offer you some motivation!

 

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 22 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for the last two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the American Fertility Association, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 28 years and their two teenage daughters.