Additional Hospital Recovery Time for Surrogates: What to Expect


The need for additional hospital recovery time can be emotionally draining. It’s not common for our surrogates to experience extended hospital stays, but when it is needed, a little education and reassurance about what to expect can greatly help ease any potential stress or anxiety.

Extended hospital stays can happen before or after the birth. If your pregnancy has potential complications that require monitoring by medical professionals, you may be placed on hospital monitored bed rest as your delivery approaches. For other women, a traumatic delivery can lead to a hospital stay that exceeds the standard 24-48 hour recovery window. In either case, know that Growing Generations has laid the groundwork to ensure that you’re taken care of and that your needs will be covered.

Your benefits package allows for additional compensation for time missed at the office, potential childcare, and housekeeping needs, and all additional medical costs incurred as a result of the pregnancy and delivery. It will be your responsibility to make contact with your case specialist to keep them updated on what you need. However, once our team knows how we can help you, we’ll do our best to make the process as simple as possible for you.

We’re here for you emotionally as well. The stress of being away from your home, family, and daily routine can be emotionally challenging, and we understand that. Don’t be afraid to use Fertility Counseling Services (FCS) as much as you need during this period. Dr. Kim Bergman is available to talk with you and help you sort through any of the emotions that may be attached to your extended recovery times.

Another aspect that occasionally occurs is when a surrogate is able to be released from the hospital before the child or children that she carried. This can happen with a caesarian section, but mostly as the result of a premature delivery. When this happens, it’s not uncommon to hear that surrogates struggle emotionally. We understand this, as well. For months it was your job to carry and grow a baby for someone else. When that journey ends early, a surrogate often can experience feelings of guilt. These are not uncommon, but you should realize that this was absolutely not your fault. Again, if this becomes your reality, do not feel hesitation to reach out to FCS for support.

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for intended parents, surrogates and donors. She is the co-owner of Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019) as well as the children's book You Began as a Wish (Independent Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. She has two adult daughters.