Along for the Ride: Beta Day: Take Two

transfer day

It’s Beta Day. Again.

It’s the day that I donate a bit more blood to the lab, and the lab tells me if I am or am not pregnant.

Just to catch you up, we had a negative Beta test a couple of months ago following our failed transfer. Here’s the link to that post.

But this is a new day. A new transfer. A new Beta test.

And this time I’m feeling… heartburn. And a lot of it. I’ve also experienced a fair amount of “implantation bleeding.”

I strutted into that lab pretty sure of myself. I’m feeling pretty absolute that this time the transfer worked. Perhaps part of that confidence stems from the fact that the scent of a banana made me cry the other day.

It’s a whole other ball of wax when you feel certain the transfer worked. Now, instead of wondering when the nurse will call me telling me I’m not pregnant, I’m wondering when she will call me and tell me just how high my beta number is.

As surrogates, we put a lot of stock in that first number. Our pride tends to swell in direct proportion with how high that first Beta number is. This is absolutely silly, by the way. A low number doesn’t make you less of a surrogate than a high number, and it’s not like anything we do can impact how big or small that number is.  Most of us know that. We still want a high number.

Beta numbers tell you how much HCG (the human pregnancy hormone) is present in the blood. That’s it. While some people may tell you that a bigger number suggests multiples in the womb, the reality is, a higher number just means there is more HCG in the blood. This can be the result of twins, yes, but it can also be the result of an earlier implantation, a differing response from one woman’s body to the next, or any other variety of factors. The only thing we really NEED to see today is a positive number, hopefully over 100.

Even so, I am sitting here pressing refresh on my Email browser window like a maniac. I need that number. I want a high number. I’m like a moth to the flame.

 

Refresh.Refresh.Refresh.

 

And then there it is.

383.8

I’m pregnant.

It worked.

Allison and Orin are going to be parents, so long as everything goes well, sometime just before Valentine’s Day.


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Resources:

What Happens to Left Over Embryos?

Bleeding in IVF Pregnancies

What to Expect on Beta Day?

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.