Along for the Ride: Calendar

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I know what’s you’re thinking. Who is this Mandy gal? I get it, it’s been awhile since we had an update to share. That can be par for the course in surrogacy. Delays are just part of the game. Feast or famine, it seems.


Turns out my vitamin D levels weren’t as high as the doctor would have liked. The result was a few weeks of extra supplements, a couple day trips to the beach, and a repeat lab test. The beach days must have worked, because now my vitamin D levels are A-OK, and that means we’re surging forward.  

Today I got my cycle calendar.

“Getting a calendar” is what we say when the magic email that has your projected transfer date arrives. The email, or “calendar”, has a lot of other important information as well. It contains dates for your pre-transfer lab appointments and your medication instructions as well. So, what do you do when “the calendar” arrives?  

You squeal in excitement! Then you make a Facebook post, text your entire support network, and jump up and down exactly three times. Maybe that last part is just me.

The reality is it takes a lot of time and patience just to get to this point. For many surrogates, this one email is when this process starts to feel real. Here right in front of you is a piece of paper with a magical date. The date you’ll try to get pregnant.


March 24th. That’s our magical date.  

And tomorrow I’ll start my medications. We’ll talk more about that next time!



 Things That Can Delay a Journey

The Jargon of Surrogacy- Part 1

Odds of IVF Success


Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.