Along for the Ride: Transfer Day

transfer dayAlong for the Ride: A Real Time Surrogacy Experience

Transfer Day

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Oh my goodness and holy cow. It happened. We made it to transfer. And, until someone else tells me otherwise, I’m officially pregnant with twins.


Here’s how today, our transfer day, played out.


Chris and I flew out on a 6:30 p.m. flight. It meant that we got into our hotel a bit late, but not too late for a quick “midnight” snack before bed. Sushi for one last time before, hopefully, I’m raw free for the rest of 2016. One of my favorite things about GG is that, when you travel for business, almost all of your costs are taken care of. My flight, my hotel, my childcare, my lost wages from work, even my meals, covered. All I need to do is show up, smile, and focus on getting pregnant. It’s such a lovely retreat from everyday life. I will forever be so grateful to GG for treating their gals so well.  

 I woke up clear eyed and bushy tailed at exactly 6:30 am. No going back to sleep, excitement ran high. So I slowly dressed, played around on Twitter for a bit, and then it was off to breakfast and the clinic.

When you arrive at the clinic you tend to go through one final round of blood work to ensure your hormones are optimal for transfer. Mine were. We pressed on. transfer shirts

Next I disrobed from the waist down and waited. And waited. And then it was time.

I was taken into a procedure room and reclined much as you would be for an annual pap smear. An embryologist came in with the embryos on a slide and offered my intended parents the ability to look at them under a microscope. My IPs took a look at the embryos. Their children. How many people get the opportunity to see their child when they’re just cells large? Watching my intended mother’s eyes well up with emotion as she said, “Hey guys!” to her two little boys, her future sons, almost brought me to tears myself.

Next the catheter is inserted into my vagina, through my cervix and into my uterus. A small syringe is attached to the catheter and, when plunged, pushes the embryos into the uterus. We actually watched it all happen live on ultrasound. Two little white dots, that’s all you see. It’s amazing that those two little white dots represent so much. They represent hope, and life, and love, and a ton of investment from so many people.  

When it was over I laid flat for about 20 minutes, got dressed, and headed back to the hotel. Now I’ll hang out here for the next day or so while these little boys get cozy inside of me. Then, in just two weeks, we test to see if the boys like their temporary housing arrangement and have decided to stick around.

Two weeks. 14 days. It sounds so short, but it feels impossibly long. For my intended parents, it may feel like the longest wait of their lives. Perhaps even more painstakingly long that the 9 months that will follow our beta test.  


What to Expect on Transfer Day

What is Pelvic Rest

Odds of IVF Success

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.