Along for the Ride: Viability

Surrogacy Picture

This pregnancy is just moving right along! We’ve hit week 25, and the official point of viability. It’s kind of a big deal. Viability means that, from this point forward, the twins have a greater chance at survival than non-survival should they be born. Their odds at life improve daily from this point until the day they are actually born. This is a point in the pregnancy where we all breathe our first collective sigh of relief, for the most part.

Doctor’s appointments have continued to go well for us. The twins are measuring a bit on the large side, and I am measuring a bit on the “smaller than expected” side. Now, I’m no supermodel. There is still plenty of Mandy right about now. When I say I’m measuring small, I’m talking only about my fundal height, the size of my uterus as it relates to this pregnancy.

I’m measuring less than 3 weeks ahead of my gestational age which, for carrying two babies as opposed to one, is a great sign. The specialists say this, paired with the impressive size of the twins, means that they’re getting everything they need to grow and stay healthy, while I’m doing a great job (albeit totally by coincidence) at keeping my weight gain down. This keeps unnecessary pressure and weight off of the cervix, giving it the best shot possible at keeping these twins in as long as possible.

Outside of the doctor’s office, we’ve started to prepare for the delivery. We’re working with lawyers on parentage orders, and with our intended parents on the birth plan. Both of these processes are facilitated by Growing Generations and are pretty non-eventful. Everything is fairly straightforward on the business end. Everything is what you’re prepared for very early on in your journey and, as always, professionals are just a phone call away should you have questions.

I’ve also been enjoying placing Belly-Buds on my tummy and allowing the cubs to hear their mother. This awesome technology allows the IM to record herself reading a book or singing a song, and then send it to me as a WAV file. I then place the buds, which act as pre-natal headphones, on my belly and press play. I can’t hear what she’s saying, which I kind of like as I don’t feel like I’m invading their privacy. Pretty cool stuff. I love that technology allows parents through technology to begin building a bond with their children months before birth. It’s what this whole thing is all about, isn’t it?

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Bonding with Baby Before Birth

What is a Pre-Birth Order?

Planning for Labor & Delivery

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.