FaceTime and Twinning: Trisha’s Surrogacy Story
Surrogacy is an exciting and encompassing time for everyone involved, no matter what else is happening in the world. Parents prepare to welcome a new additional to their family while surrogates navigate the milestone that get them there. Amid a global pandemic, however, surrogates at all stages of the process find themselves making history. The ways in which they connect with intended parents may have changed, but the lifelong connection they establish are stronger than ever.
Meet Trisha, a mom of twins determined to bring the joy of parenthood to another family as a surrogate. She had already completed the screening process and a successful embryo transfer before the pandemic began in 2020. As with most plans last year, much of Trisha’s journey looked different than she expected. Still, she created cherished memories with her intended parents, making the experience of bringing new twins into the world a rewarding one.
In the beginning, the adjustments seemed small, and doctor’s appointments seemed “mostly normal”. Trisha had been through her own pregnancy before becoming a surrogate, so she knew what to expect. “I had to wear a mask during each office visit and ultrasound,” Trisha said, “but I still had the same amount of in-person visits as I did for my own.”
It was during these hospital visits for her OB appointments that she could notice a bit more of a difference, but Trisha took it all in stride.
“The OB patients entered through a different door than all the other patients,” she said. “The main difference between my own pregnancy and the surrogate pregnancy OB appointments was that my spouse did not come with me for the surrogate doctor visits, which I was completely fine with.”
She also noted that, thinking back, the seats in the waiting room were all spaced six feet apart, though it didn’t occur to her at the time.
Back at home, Trisha and her intended parents did not let the unusual circumstances stand in their way. Their journey included another rare, and much more exciting, element as the intended mother was pregnant herself. While both social and geographical distance (the families live 1,300 miles apart) made frequent in-person meetups impossible, they all made a point to stay in touch. Trisha kept the parents updated through the whole process, even opting for a bigger hospital that could offer more imaging and peace of mind for the health of their twins.
“I would typically FaceTime the parents during the appointments so they could ask any questions they had for the doctor,” she explained. “I would also text them any milestones that came up and I tried to keep them involved as much as possible. We had planned on meeting up around the 20-week mark; but because of the pandemic and the fact that she was also 26 weeks pregnant, traveling for them was too risky. I was super bummed they couldn’t be there in person for their ultrasound like we had originally planned. But the parents ended up coming a week early (in case I went into labor early) so we did manage to get supper before the birth of their twins.”
Trisha recalled the supper with the intended parents and the chance to get to know them in person as her favorite part of the whole experience. “We took some photos, and I will cherish them forever. I really enjoy them and plan to keep in touch with them.”
She was also excited to have the intended parents there on delivery day. “They were able to have their own room and we were able to experience the birth together,” Trisha said. “I had a c-section because Baby A was breeched. The intended mother and my husband were in the surgery room with me, but the intended father was unfortunately unable to be in there with us due to COVID restrictions.”
She credits her intended parents with handling the challenges of their surrogacy well. “They also weren’t allowed to bring their newborn son on the trip;” said Trisha, “the delivery hospital did not allow him to be in the hospital. I think that was difficult for them to be away from him, but they made the best of it. The parents took all of the hurdles like champs which made it easier on me.”
Life may have given them some big surprises, but in the end these families celebrated the amazing outcome of not one, but three healthy babies. Looking back, Trisha offered this advice for potential surrogates, “Keep an open mind about the whole experience, it is extremely rewarding when it all comes together. The look on the new parents’ faces melted my heart and makes me so excited to do this all over again.”
For the past year, Growing Generations has guided parents, egg donors, and surrogates through new protective procedures and unparalleled care and support. Contact us today to learn more about our surrogacy process or to get started.