Social Media Refresher For Surrogates
As social media continues to become an increasingly integral part of American society, it’s becoming less and less likely that people remember a time in your life before they had access to these sites. Sites like Facebook, Instagram, Vine, Twitter, and Snapchat make it fast and easy to share our lives with the world with just a few swipes of our fingers. You’ll likely find that this is no different during your surrogacy journey. Even so, surrogacy is a unique relationship and there are a few things you should consider before taking your story public. Here’s what you need to know.
- What happens online, stays online. Forever. Or at least it can. Cached web pages, Facebook sharing of posts, screen grabs, retweets, and print offs are all things that can make a comment made in haste and later deleted impossible to ever really go away. While venting frustration can feel very good in the moment, a minute’s worth of release can lead to a lifetime of regret if you’re not cautious.
- You’re dealing with someone else’s child. It is important to consider the things that you’ll be saying about the pregnancy or any of the parties involved before posting them. You’ll need to consider if the intended parents would be comfortable with your sharing their names, photos of you together, ultrasound pictures or other information about the pregnancy. While the pregnancy may be yours, it is their child, and they may not want that person exposed on social media.
- The rule works in reverse, too. Are you comfortable with the intended parents sharing photos of your growing belly? Talking about your symptoms openly, or revealing your name? It’s always a good idea to have open communication with your intended parents about what you’re comfortable sharing online, and what details you’d rather they keep private.
- Not only do you need to give careful consideration to any privacy requests (particularly any privacy clauses that may be outlined in your legal contract) you should also consider how the surrogate/intended parent would feel reading your posts. Even if you’re not Facebook friends, it is entirely possible for posts to circulate and find unsuspecting eyes. Surrogacy is incredibly intimate and personal. If you wouldn’t say something to the other party in person, perhaps it is best left unsaid in a public forum.
- Keep in mind that you’re also an ambassador. Your posts not only represent you, but also Growing Generations, and the surrogacy community as a whole. While pregnancy isn’t always pretty, the things you say about surrogacy will help give direction to the future of surrogacy. Keep in mind that most people have never met a surrogate, and your words may shape their opinion on the entire process.
Perhaps the best bit of advice to bear in mind is, “When in doubt, ask first.” If you expect to blog or Facebook post about your journey, plan to make that a point of discussion during your matching process. Later in your journey, you can direct these questions to your case specialist.