Surrogacy: What It Means For Your Significant Other


When a woman chooses to become a surrogate it is a decision that impacts her entire family. From the children who will be without her during her travels for medical screening and transfer to the husband or significant other who will be her key support; making a family for someone else is a job in which every member of the family will play a role.

As the spouse or significant other of a potential surrogate, we will have several requirements of you.

The most important obligation is support. No potential surrogate can move forward through our screening process without the support of her significant other. You’re likely to be named as her support giver in her contract, so it’s important to have you onboard with what will be asked of her and of you during this process.

You’ll be asked to travel with your wife/girlfriend to southern California for her medical and psychological screening. During this time you’ll be asked to submit to blood and urine tests to look for potential drug use as well as any diseases that may be passed to the surrogate through sexual intercourse during the course of the surrogacy. During this visit you’ll also sit with your wife/girlfriend through a casual interview. You will also be subject to a background check.

If you live with the surrogate you’ll also need to attend her “match meeting” with the couple she chooses to help. This meeting consists of a mediated meet and greet between both parties to discuss issues of key importance during and following the surrogacy.

During the course of the surrogacy most significant others will have to consent to other directives necessitated by doctors’ orders as well. These often include not engaging in sexual intercourse with anyone other than your partner, not obtaining any new tattoos during the surrogacy and abstaining from sex for a certain amount of time.

If your wife or girlfriend is considering becoming a surrogate we applaud both of you. This is a choice that takes a lot of heart and commitment from both of you. Just considering to do this for another person makes both of you very special people.

If you have additional questions on how surrogacy will impact you as the significant other of a surrogate, please feel free to address your questions and concerns with your Admissions Specialist. You may also send an Email to

Kelly Enders-Tharp

Kelly Enders-Tharp was a three time gestational surrogate with Growing Generations. Afterwards, she joined GG as their Marketing and Admissions Specialist.