Surrogate Stories: Brandy

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I always knew I wanted to be a surrogate. It was just something that I could see myself doing so clearly. Even so, life got in the way. I’m from such a conservative family and at first I was worried about how my friends and family would react to my choice. But then one night, after much thought and conversation with my husband and kids, I decided to take the plunge. I signed on with Growing Generations and prepared for the ride of a lifetime!

I was matched with a couple from another country. We couldn’t exchange a single word without a translator. But I was moved by their story and I knew I wanted to help them. The language was definitely an obstacle for us. When you think about surrogacy, these couples have likely tackled obstacles so much larger than language just to get to this point. We knew we’d make it work. We didn’t talk often, and when we did it was always with the help of a staff translator at Growing Generations.

The birth was a beautiful experience for me, even though the intended parents were not in the room for it. It was a learning experience to watch a different culture embrace a newborn child. It was a moving moment for me. I felt so great about myself, but not at all the way I had felt when I gave birth to my own children.

My experience was overwhelmingly positive, and I loved every second of my experience. My goal was always to create or grow a family, and I did that. I helped a man and a woman become a family. It’s a choice I am so glad to have made, and one that I would make all over again.

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: An Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Red Wheel Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.