Surrogate Stories: Megan

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When I was 12 years old I had my right ovary removed. The doctors told me there might be a chance that I couldn’t have my own children and that, if I could conceive, I might have difficulty there, too. So from the age of 12 till 20, I believed that I might not ever be a mom, which was hard, because that was the only thing I ever wanted to be.

To my surprise, right after I got married I got pregnant! The two children that followed were easily conceived, too. After becoming a mom and realizing MY dream, I knew that I wanted to help other people to fulfill their dreams of having their own family, too.

When it came to surrogacy, there was no fear. Just excitement. But, I had a lot of obstacles and it took me years to find an agency that would work with me. I first started looking into surrogacy in 2009. But, I had gastric bypass in 2007, and most agencies back then wouldn’t even consider me unless I had a baby to ‘prove’ I could have a successful pregnancy after gastric bypass. I was heartbroken because I knew I was done having my own babies. So, I just forgot all about surrogacy and went on with my life.

Later, in 2011, I saw an online ad saying that some agencies no longer had the requirement of having a baby post gastric bypass. Armed with that information, my search started all over again. I was excited, but guarded. I was afraid to get my hopes up again to have my heart broken if they turned me down. Growing Generations was one of only two agencies who continued communications with me, and we began to move forward.

I started to let my guard down when I finally got the email from my case specialist saying that after multiple months and blood draws and checks and rechecks, I finally recieved medical clearance. I figured that at that point, we were good to go. They (GG) did want me and weren’t going to break my heart.

My journey was fantastic. I got my guys’ profile and felt the butterflies. . .if they didn’t pick me I don’t know if I would’ve tried to rematch! The transfer was fun, the pregnancy was easy, and the dads and I had great communication, we shared text messages daily and they even came to the 20 week ultrasound and met all my family! I got pregnant with twins the first transfer, had no morning sickness or heartburn- I wasn’t ever uncomfortable. Overall it was just a great experience.

Would I do this again or recommend a friend? I would love to do another surrogacy, I actually intend to look into it when I’m closer to being done with my RN program. And, yes! I absolutely would, and have, recommended this whole surrogacy thing to numerous friends. I talk about surrogacy in one way or another just about every day of my life.

With GG I always felt like I had somebody on my team. Whether it was finance or matching or contracts or all of the above and all of the things in between, I always felt like they had my best interest at heart. Even if this happens to be the only surrogacy I get to do, I’m extremely proud of the fact that I was chosen by GG and by my guys. Together, they helped me fulfill an almost lifelong dream of being a surrogate and helping create a family.

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.