Surrogate Stories: Rebecca

I made the decision to begin looking into surrogacy after being an egg donor. I donated my eggs on two occasions. That was a decision I made after watching several friends struggle with infertility. After my last donation I felt for sure that I was done with that chapter of my life, but that I still wanted to do more to help others.

Ultimately I found an ad for Growing Generations and began having some serious discussions with my husband about the idea of becoming a surrogate. The difference between egg donation and surrogacy is that is that being a donor mostly affected me, but being a surrogate was a life changing decision that effected my entire family. After several conversations we decided that we were both fully on board. We made the call to get the ball rolling.

The application process felt like a lot of “hurry up and wait” for me. I filled out the application, did some of the basic prescreening check marks, then it kept getting more and more in depth. Every step delved deep into my life, but with that I felt really good that this wasn’t for everyone. I had some lengthy conversations with the admissions groups asking all of the questions I had, but also felt like a lot of my questions were being answered before I needed to ask.

Flying for screening was probably the scariest part. I wanted my uterus to be as great as I thought it would be, and who thinks that? Only a surrogate that wants to impress!

After screening I was immediately sent a profile to check out. Luckily they said yes to us pretty quickly and we went to WV to meet. We immediately connected with them in the office and over lunch. They were warm and relaxed and I think we both had a realistic desire to have communication.

The pregnancy was quick, easy, and relatively uneventful. For me though, the best part of this entire journey was the day the surrogate baby was born. I seriously felt like super woman. I remember the desire to scream from the rooftops how amazing the experience was. This new little baby was surrounded by his new daddies, his big brother, and his grandparents. They were all so happy and so thankful! So much love was in one room.

They kept reminding me that I had helped create a generation. This baby was in the best hands ever and I just felt so amazed that I was able to provide this to a family that was so deserving.

I have been so blessed I my life to create my own beautiful children, then I was able to help two couples fill in the gaps by donating my eggs to help create their children, and then I was able to complete a family who wanted to have a brother to give their little guy.

I couldn’t be more satisfied or complete knowing I have been able to help so many wonderful little humans enter this world to parents who pined for them. I am pretty complete at this point. I finally feel “done.”

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 22 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for the last two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the American Fertility Association, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 28 years and their two teenage daughters.