Talking With Your Kids About The End of Your Journey

As the end of your surrogacy journey draws near, it may be a good idea to remind your children that the baby you’ve been carrying is not coming home with you after the birth. Chances are good that you explained this to them in the early stages of your journey and that you’ve reminded them of this reality through the course of the last several months as well. Even so, things can seem different to little people once the baby is a real, tangible thing that they can see and touch.

Reminding your children that the baby in your belly is a long awaited family member for your intended parents can help them understand that they aren’t losing a sibling at all. Some surrogates have even framed photos of their intended parents and displayed them prominently in their homes. This daily visual aid can help make these otherwise rarely seen people seem more real to your children. It also helps them identify with where the baby will be living after the birth.

There are also a multitude of children’s books that introduce the idea of surrogacy on a child’s level. These books can open the door to communication and any lingering questions your children may have. Your case specialist will be able to recommend a title to you. Our Pinterest page also has a few titles for you to browse.

Depending on the comfort level of your intended parents, your children may or may not have access to the baby after delivery. You should consider if this “meet and greet” style of goodbye would help your child gain closure or confuse them more.

In most cases the children of surrogates take pride in their mother’s accomplishment and see it as a point of pride and achievement for the entire family. Offering them the chance to both celebrate the birth of a new baby, while also showing empathy to the sadness that comes with the end of your journey, will usually offer them enough support to make the transition a smooth one.

If you’re struggling with ways to talk with your children about the end of your journey, or if your children are having a hard time accepting the goodbyes, do know that your case specialist has experience with these emotions and can offer additional insight to help them cope.

Teo Martinez

Teo Martinez is the CEO of Growing Generations, a surrogacy and egg donation agency headquartered in Los Angeles, CA. Educated at both UCLA and Pepperdine University, and with over 15 years of experience working in assisted reproduction, Teo’s background makes him one of the most experienced and accomplished professionals in the field.