The choice to become a surrogate is a beautiful way to allow others to experience the joys of parenthood. Embarking on this journey is understandably exciting, and it is not unusual to want to share your surrogacy news with your family and friends. The decision of when and how to announce your role as a surrogate holds many considerations.
Choosing the right time
Most surrogates choose to share the news with family and friends early, usually as soon as the decision is made to embark on this life-altering journey. It is best to inform the people closest to you about your decision to become a surrogate before announcing it publicly. Sharing your news at the beginning of your journey allows your family and friends time to process your decision and your surrogate journey. They’ll have time to consider the incredible gift you’re giving. This also gives you the opportunity to address any questions and concerns they may have. Telling your loved ones early builds your primary support system at the start of your journey since you may need to rely on them to understand shifts in your mood during hormone therapy, or even to help with babysitting during the screening process for appointments.
At Growing Generations, we encourage our surrogates to share the news to their main support system very early on and even before they are pregnant to ensure they will have support. However, some surrogates may wait to tell their extended support system midway through the pregnancy. This allows for some privacy from invasive questions and safeguards against having to tell everyone about a potential early pregnancy loss. By waiting until the midway point of your pregnancy, you ensure a bit of peace and privacy for your family.
As a surrogate, communication is always important, and you will want to prioritize the intended parents’ wishes and needs when announcing the pregnancy. Before making the announcement, make sure you have open and honest conversations with them. Discuss their preferences, concerns, potential boundaries about sharing the news with others, and when they feel comfortable sharing it. Many intended parents prefer to wait until certain milestones are reached in the pregnancy, such as the end of the first trimester when the risk of miscarriage decreases significantly. It is important to be on the same page about the level of disclosure during the surrogacy journey. It is always best to respect their privacy and choices throughout the process.
Sharing with your own children
When it comes to telling your own children about being a surrogate, a handful of variables will come into play. Things like your children’s ages, maturity levels, and general awareness all play into choosing when it is best to tell them your surrogacy plans. Find our in-depth guide on discussing your surrogate journey with your children here.
Sharing with family and friends
Announcing your decision to become a surrogate to your family and friends is an emotional moment. Here are a few suggestions to consider when sharing the news:
- Choose a comfortable setting. Arrange a time and place where you feel relaxed and can talk openly without distractions.
- Be honest and compassionate. Explain your decision and emphasize your desire to help others turn their dreams of parenthood into a reality.
- Address their concerns. Understand that your loved ones are looking out for you. They’ll have questions about your safety and emotional well-being. Assure them that you have done your research and considered all aspects of surrogacy. Let them know that you have professional support throughout the process.
Sharing on social media
Announcing your surrogacy journey on social media requires thoughtful consideration. While some surrogates prefer to share their experiences openly to raise awareness and celebrate the process, others may opt for a private approach.
If you choose to announce your surrogacy on social media or other public platforms, do so with sensitivity. Avoid revealing any personal or identifying information about the intended parents. Obtain consent from them before sharing any details. Your announcement can be an opportunity to educate others about the beauty of surrogacy and break down misconceptions.
Remember: announcing your surrogacy may elicit various reactions from those around you. While most responses will likely be positive and supportive, you may encounter some who do not understand or agree with your decision. It is important to stay true to your beliefs and the reasons that led you to become a surrogate. Surround yourself with a strong support system of people who appreciate and respect your journey.
Deciding when and how to announce your role as a surrogate requires careful thought, open communication with the intended parents, and sensitivity to other’s feelings while staying true to your own. By navigating the process with openness and respect, your journey as a surrogate will leave a positive impact on the lives of those you touch.