Egg Donation vs. Surrogacy

straight couple

For many intended parents, choosing to pursue an egg donor or a surrogate can be a very difficult and emotional decision. This may be a challenging time for your family, but do know that there may still be several options and paths to consider on your journey to parenthood.

In some cases, intended parents will be able to choose between having a surrogate or using a donor egg and then carrying the embryo herself.

Egg Donation

If an intended parent is capable of carrying a child but does not have viable eggs, or if both parents are carriers of a genetic condition, a family may choose to use a donor egg to create an embryo for the intended mother to carry.

While choosing an egg donor, you will have the opportunity to sort through our extensive database of pre-screened women to find one that suits you. Many intended parents seek out an egg donor who may resemble their family or have similar characteristics.

You’ll want to consider if you’d like your egg donor to be anonymous or known. An anonymous donor is one that you’ll likely never meet or speak with; Whereas, a known donor agreement may allow you to speak with or meet your donor before entering into legal contracts.


In other cases, an intended parent may be able to produce viable eggs but unable to carry the pregnancy. In these instances, an intended parent may want to consider creating the embryo from their own eggs and working with a surrogate to carry the embryo. In this case , the intended parent maintains a biological connection to their child.

It is important to think carefully about the type of woman you’ll want to work with. Unlike the relationship with an egg donor, a surrogacy relationship extends over many months, potentially even a year or more. These relationships can be very intimate and complex necessitating careful consideration in the selection process.

No matter what choice you make, the Growing Generations team is here to help you through each step of the process. We have created a program that keeps the sensitive nature of this agreement in mind and will help you make the decision that is best for your family. We look forward to helping you decide how best to build your family and you are welcome to contact us with any questions.

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.