Egg Donation vs. Surrogacy

For many intended mothers, choosing to pursue an egg donor or a surrogate can be a very difficult and emotional decision. This is a challenging time for your family, but do know that there may still be several options and paths to consider on your journey to parenthood.

In some cases, intended mothers will be able to choose between having a surrogate or using a donor egg and then carrying the embryo herself.

Egg Donation

If an intended mother is capable of carrying a child but does not have viable eggs, or if both parents are carriers of a genetic condition, a family may choose to use a donor egg to create an embryo for the intended mother to carry.

While choosing an egg donor, you will have the opportunity to sort through our extensive database of pre-screened women to find one that suits you. Many intended mothers seek out a donor who may resemble herself or have similar characteristics.

You’ll want to consider if you’d like your egg donor to be anonymous or known. An anonymous donor is one that you’ll likely never meet or speak with, whereas other arrangements may allow you to speak with or meet your donor before entering into legal contracts.

 

Surrogacy

In other cases, an intended mother may be able to produce viable eggs but unable to carry the embryo herself. In these instances, you may want to consider creating the embryo from your eggs and using a surrogate to carry the embryo. In this case you will maintain a biological connection to your child.

It is important to think carefully about the type of woman you’ll want to work with. Unlike the relationship with an egg donor, a surrogacy relationship extends over many months, potentially even a year or more. These relationships can be very intimate and complex, necessitating careful consideration in the selection process.

No matter what choice you make, know that the Growing Generations team is here to help you through each step of the process. We have created a program that keeps the sensitive nature of this business in mind and will help you make the decision that is best for your family. We look forward to helping you decide how best to build your family.

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 22 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for the last two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the American Fertility Association, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 28 years and their two teenage daughters.