The Stateside Stay


International intended parents will need to allow for an extended stateside visit around the time of the birth of your new baby. While couples from the United States are able to head home with their newborn as soon as the baby is discharged from the hospital, international parents may need to stay stateside for several weeks following the birth of your new child.

This time period allows for the legalities of transporting the child from the United States back to your home country. In this time you’ll be getting a passport for your child as well as finalizing the birth certificate. Depending on the state where your surrogate lives, there may be a few other legalities that need to be taken care of as well.

Singleton Pregnancy

We generally advise parents expecting one baby to arrive as close to 38 weeks gestation as possible. You’ve invested a lot of heart, time and finances into the creation of this little person, you want to be sure you’re in town for the birth!

Next, we suggest that you plan on a three week stay post birth. Some parents plan on a four week stay in order to allow for a little “cushion” time in the event of unforeseen challenges. In total, your stay in the states could range from three to five weeks.

Multiples Pregnancy

International parents expecting twins or high order multiples should plan on a stay that is a bit longer. In these instances we advise that you arrive as close to 36 weeks gestation as possible. Multiples pregnancies are often delivered well before 40 weeks, and this is not an event you want to miss.

Due to the normal early arrival of a multiples pregnancy, a stay in the NICU is often ordered for these babies. That means you’ll want to plan ahead for a potentially longer stay post birth. We recommend planning for a four to six week stay in this case. Of course, if there are no medical needs necessary you may plan on a three to four week stay post birth.

This means that if you’re expecting twins or more, you should plan on a stateside say lasting anywhere from six to ten weeks.

There are so many variables that will go into your arrival in the states and the length of your stay once you’re here. As your journey progresses forward you can feel free to discuss the pregnancy’s progression with your surrogate, your case specialist, and with your surrogate’s doctor. They may be able to help offer insight that could help you plan your trip a bit better.

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for intended parents, surrogates and donors. She is the co-owner of Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019) as well as the children's book You Began as a Wish (Independent Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. She has two adult daughters.