Surrogacy for Intended Parents
October 3, 2023 at 6:56:00 PM
Growing Generations knows the first meeting between a surrogate and intended parent(s) can feel much like a blind date. It’s normal for those on both sides to feel nervous or anxious leading up to the event – whether it’s via videoconference or in person. Here are some tips for that first of many meetings you’ll have along the surrogacy journey.
Take time to prepare. Before the meeting, do your due diligence to read over your surrogate’s profile and come up with a list of questions you’d like to ask. These can be lighthearted or more serious questions about topics such as carrying multiples. Discuss your ideas with your partner and/or support network, then write them down to have with you during the meeting. If you’re planning a video call, make sure you have a strong internet connection to avoid the awkward technology issues that may occur at the beginning if your call drops.
Think about communication etiquette. Be thoughtful about the way you ask questions and what you decide to talk about. If you’re working through an agency such as Growing Generations, there is no reason to discuss finances or medical advice during a match meeting. It’s important to trust your surrogate and the expert guidance of their doctors and agency. Instead, ask questions about family, lifestyle, hobbies and what motivated them to be a part of this journey.
Don’t do all the talking. You may get nervous and start rambling during the conversation. However, remember they want to get to know you as well. Invite them to ask you questions and be prepared to share information and stories about yourself.
Set expectations for the future. This is the perfect time to create communication expectations. Will you chat weekly or monthly? Do you plan to have phone calls or in-person visits? Will the surrogate send pictures of her progress? You might even ask about post-birth communication. Think through your expectations before the meeting, and be prepared to compromise as needed.
Remember what’s been happening behind the scenes. The surrogate you are about to meet has not been paired with you by accident. Our highly personalized application and matching process has led to this moment based on your profiles and desires for this process. With that in mind, you can breathe easier knowing that you’ll be speaking with someone who is invested in this journey just like you are. They have passed many screenings – an extensive application, interviews, psychological evaluations, a medical examination by an in vitro fertilization specialist, a criminal background check and a drug, nicotine and infectious disease screening – to get to this point. Simply focus on getting to know one another to confirm if you would like to proceed together. If not, we have a Match Guarantee Program.
Every match meeting doesn’t look the same, so these tips are just a guide to help you get started on a successful conversation. Remember that you can be yourself and don’t need to put on a show.
Growing Generations knows the first meeting between a surrogate and intended parent(s) can feel much like a blind date. It’s normal for those on both sides to feel nervous or anxious leading up to the event – whether it’s via videoconference or in person. Here are some tips for that first of many meetings you’ll have along the surrogacy journey.
Take time to prepare. Before the meeting, do your due diligence to read over your surrogate’s profile and come up with a list of questions you’d like to ask. These can be lighthearted or more serious questions about topics such as carrying multiples. Discuss your ideas with your partner and/or support network, then write them down to have with you during the meeting. If you’re planning a video call, make sure you have a strong internet connection to avoid the awkward technology issues that may occur at the beginning if your call drops.
Think about communication etiquette. Be thoughtful about the way you ask questions and what you decide to talk about. If you’re working through an agency such as Growing Generations, there is no reason to discuss finances or medical advice during a match meeting. It’s important to trust your surrogate and the expert guidance of their doctors and agency. Instead, ask questions about family, lifestyle, hobbies and what motivated them to be a part of this journey.
Don’t do all the talking. You may get nervous and start rambling during the conversation. However, remember they want to get to know you as well. Invite them to ask you questions and be prepared to share information and stories about yourself.
Set expectations for the future. This is the perfect time to create communication expectations. Will you chat weekly or monthly? Do you plan to have phone calls or in-person visits? Will the surrogate send pictures of her progress? You might even ask about post-birth communication. Think through your expectations before the meeting, and be prepared to compromise as needed.
Remember what’s been happening behind the scenes. The surrogate you are about to meet has not been paired with you by accident. Our highly personalized application and matching process has led to this moment based on your profiles and desires for this process. With that in mind, you can breathe easier knowing that you’ll be speaking with someone who is invested in this journey just like you are. They have passed many screenings – an extensive application, interviews, psychological evaluations, a medical examination by an in vitro fertilization specialist, a criminal background check and a drug, nicotine and infectious disease screening – to get to this point. Simply focus on getting to know one another to confirm if you would like to proceed together. If not, we have a Match Guarantee Program.
Every match meeting doesn’t look the same, so these tips are just a guide to help you get started on a successful conversation. Remember that you can be yourself and don’t need to put on a show.
Related Posts
Choosing the right surrogacy agency is one of the most important decisions you will make on your path to parenthood. Download our checklist and comparison worksheet designed to help you ask the right questions, evaluate key criteria, and document each agency’s responses side by side.
BEST SURROGACY AGENCIES IN THE U.S. (2025): AN EXPERT GUIDE FOR INTENDED PARENTS
%20AN%20EXPERT%20GUIDE%20FOR%20INTENDED%20PARENTS.png)
As an intended parent, you may feel left out on pre-birth bonding. However, there are some solutions. Find out more.
BONDING WITH YOUR SURROGATE BABY BEFORE BIRTH
Thanks to medical advancements like sperm washing and viral load monitoring, surrogacy for HIV positive couples is now a safe, empowering path to parenthood.
BREAKING BARRIERS WITH SURROGACY FOR HIV POSITIVE COUPLES
It’s important during this phase of your process to establish the foundation of your relationship with your surrogate. Here’s what I hear from surrogates about what they are looking for.
CREATING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SURROGATE
Wondering whether your baby will share DNA with the surrogate? Learn how genetics work in surrogacy, including whose DNA the baby inherits and how factors like blood type are determined.
DOES A SURROGATE SHARE DNA WITH THE BABY? THE GENETICS EXPLAINED
Surrogate births often occur far from where the baby will live, requiring a plane ride home, which can be stressful with a newborn. Read our travel tips here!
FLYING WITH A NEWBORN
Explore each stage of the surrogacy process—consultation, matching, embryo transfer, legal steps, and delivery—in this clear step‑by‑step guide for intended parents.
FROM MATCH TO BIRTH: HOW SURROGACY WORKS STEP-BY-STEP
%20(1456%20x%20940%20px)_.jpg)
While having altruistic motives, surrogates at Growing Generations do receive compensation. We dispel the myth, however, that surrogacy commoditizes women.
HOW IS ALTRUISTIC SURROGACY DIFFERENT FROM COMMERCIAL SURROGACY?
There are resources out there for what to pack for delivery for surrogates & mothers, but what about intended parents?
INTENDED PARENTS: WHAT TO PACK FOR DELIVERY
For many people exploring surrogacy as a path to parenthood, one of the very first questions is, “Do I qualify to become an intended parent?”, more specifically, “Is there an age limit for intended parents?” This guide answers your questions about age limits, emotional challenges, or legal considerations.
REQUIREMENTS FOR INTENDED PARENTS: AGE LIMITS, ELIGIBILITY & WHAT TO EXPECT
Learn what surrogacy really costs, from agency fees to IVF, and how first-time intended parents can plan and budget with confidence.
SURROGACY COST BREAKDOWN: WHAT INTENDED PARENTS REALLY PAY
Growing Generations is dedicated to helping LGBTQIA+ intended parents build their families through surrogacy Discover what you need to know to navigate the surrogacy process and how Growing Generations supports you through each step.
SURROGACY FOR LGBT COUPLES: NAVIGATING THE PATH TO PARENTHOOD WITH GROWING GENERATIONS
Gay and LGBTQIA+ intended parents often face unique hurdles and challenges during the family-building process. Discover how Growing Generations helps same-sex couples navigate the surrogacy process.
SURROGACY FOR SAME-SEX COUPLES: LEGAL, MEDICAL, AND EMOTIONAL TIPS FOR LGBTQIA+ FAMILIES
The surrogacy process can seem daunting to a single intended parent. Discover what to expect from these unique challenges and learn some tips for preparing for single parent surrogacy.
SURROGACY FOR THE SINGLE PARENT: WHAT TO KNOW BEFORE GROWING YOUR FAMILY
Learn how surrogacy insurance works — what’s covered, what’s not, and how to protect your journey.
SURROGACY INSURANCE 101: COVERAGE OPTIONS, GAPS, AND HOW TO PROTECT YOUR JOURNEY
Beginning the surrogacy process is a significant step toward building your family. This guide offers an overview of what you can expect as an intended parent.
SURROGACY OVERVIEW FOR INTENDED PARENTS: WHAT TO EXPECT ON YOUR JOURNEY
.png)
Telling your boss that you are going to be a surrogate can be daunting. Learn how to reveal this news properly in the work place.
TELLING YOUR BOSS ABOUT SURROGACY
Growing Generations is proud to have a talented legal team that helps draft contracts between all parties. Learn more about the contracting phase today.
THE CONTRACTING PHASE
Let’s set the record straight. Find out the the truth behind 6 common surrogacy myths as you get started on your surrogacy journey.
THE FACTS ABOUT SURROGACY: DEBUNKING 6 MYTHS
The relationship between the intended parents & the surrogate will change after childbirth, & in different ways depending on the families involved. Learn more.
THE POST BIRTH RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SURROGATE
As you consider surrogacy to grow your family, understanding the pros and cons of gestational versus traditional surrogacy is vital. Discover what you need to know before making this important decision.
TRADITIONAL VS GESTATIONAL SURROGACY: KEY DIFFERENCES EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW
Intended parents are the legal parents of the child carried by a surrogate. In gestational surrogacy, the model used today by most U.S. agencies, the surrogate has no genetic or parental claim to the baby. Read more about the role in our guide.
WHAT ARE INTENDED PARENTS? MEANING, DEFINITION & WHO THEY ARE IN SURROGACY
Completely understanding birth orders can prevent unnecessary issues for surrogates & IPs. Learn about them here.
WHAT IS A PRE-BIRTH ORDER
Discover everything you need to know to start your journey as first-time intended parents, from how surrogacy works and what it costs to the legal steps and what to expect.
WHAT IS SURROGACY? A COMPLETE GUIDE FOR FIRST-TIME INTENDED PARENTS
Timing your arrival for the birth of your surrogate baby can be tricky, especially when you're traveling from over seas.
WHEN TO ARRIVE FOR THE BIRTH: INTERNATIONAL IP
A stay in the NICU can be challenging both emotionally and logistically for new parents. It can be helpful to have a quick guide of what to expect and how to react. Get it here.
WHEN YOUR SURROGATE BABY IS IN THE NICU: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
