Why Egg Donors Should Take Their Time On Their Profiles

Egg donors are loving, vivacious women. They’re excited by life and tend to take it by the horns and give it all they’ve got. They love a good adventure and value those who use their time productively. While these are all incredible personality traits, they can also be counter-productive when crafting an egg donor profile.

We often run into egg donors who, because they are so excited to help, have a tendency to rush through the process of creating their database interviews. We understand that you’re incredibly excited for this experience and that you want to get started right away. We want to urge you to take a deep breath and make a big commitment to your application materials.

Look at it like this: while you may have no second thoughts about the eggs you’re about to donate, your eggs mean the world to the intended parents who would receive them. These are parents who are hedging their entire dream of parenthood on your genes, your personality, and your dedication to this process. As such, taking the time to put some thought into your video is not only respectful to them; it’s useful for you.

Intended parents are more likely to choose a candidate with whom they can relate. These candidates are the ones who have put more thought into their submission materials. Instead of simply saying, “I want to help you!” perhaps say why you want to help them. Maybe it’s a family member who struggled with infertility. Or, perhaps, it’s for purely for the mutual benefit you will receive from donating your eggs. Whatever your motivations, share them. Be open, honest, and well thought out.

Donating your eggs is not something you decided to do on a Monday and expect to be contracted for by Friday. Chances are you’ve given this a lot of thought already. Intended parents want to see that from you. They want to know that, despite your young age, you take this process seriously. Taking time to use proper spelling, grammar, and sentence structure in your written portions will likely help you to get chosen sooner.

When it comes to your video, dress appropriately. While a tank top and shorts may be a good choice for a day out with your friends, try to remember that intended parents care more about responsibility than anything else, and will likely respond better to a more thought out outfit, hairstyle, and response pattern. Think about the things you’d want to hear if you were an intended parent.

While we’re not asking you to be disingenuous, we do hope you’ll put yourself in these parents’ shoes. This may be their last shot at a family, and it hinges on you. Be composed, put together, and patient. Think about what you want to say in your video before you film it, and most of all, don’t forget to be you!

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.