A Closer Look at Matching

The matching process of your surrogacy journey is a very exciting time! Over the course of several days or weeks you will be finding and deciding what family you will be helping to create or build upon. Here’s a closer look at how the Growing Generations’ matching process works.

The Surrogate Profile

Shortly after completing your consultation, you will be given access to our online surrogates’ portal. Part of this forum consists of an area for you to create a profile of yourself. This is a process you’ll usually begin after all of your other paperwork has been submitted.

In your profile, you’ll be asked to answer questions about things like why you wanted to become a surrogate, the type of family you want to help create (gay, straight, VIP clients, HART clients), and your transfer and reduction preferences. You’ll also get the opportunity to talk about your family, brag on your kids, and share your hobbies and interests.

Take your time writing your profile, and make sure to check it for spelling and grammar mistakes. Each section of the profile will give the intended parents viewing it a glimpse into your heart and your family. First impressions matter.

 

The Intended Parent Profile

When an Intended Parent(s) retains us, they are asked to create a profile about themselves as well. This profile is very similar to the one you’ve just created. Once they’ve finished their profile it is delivered to their case specialist. This profile remains active in our database until the IP(s) is matched with a gestational surrogate.

 

Profile Exchange

Someone in the Growing Generations’ admissions team is constantly reviewing surrogate and IP profiles to find pairings that work well on paper. This individual plays match maker. The pairings are often based on similarities in key areas including fetal reduction preferences, desired communication levels, and legal geographic compatibility. Once our “match maker” believes she has a match, you will receive the profile of the Intended Parent(s).

Profile exchanges generally begin after all your paperwork has been received and the doctor has reviewed and approved your records. We may also have your pre-approval from New Life Agency around this time as well.  As a rule, you will only receive one profile at a time. Once you receive and review the profile, you have a choice to accept or deny the opportunity to work with these intended parents. If you accept, your profile will then be sent on to the intended parents.

The intended parents will then review your story, information, and pictures to decide if they’d like to work with you. They too will have the choice to accept or deny the potential match. As you will be aware that you’re being considered, the IPs are generally asked to provide us with an answer within 48 hours.

Once the Intended Parents have accepted your profile, you’ll move on to your match meeting!

 

Match Meeting

The match meeting is a face to face encounter with the intended parents that you have agreed to work with. This meeting may be done in person, but more likely, will be completed over live video conference.

During the meeting a Growing Generations’ employee will mediate and lead discussion between the two parties. Conversation will cover many of the things already discussed in your profile. Each side will also be given the opportunity to ask questions of one another.

At the close of the match meeting, each party is given 24 hours to consider the match one more time. By the close of those 24 hours, we ask each side to either accept or deny the match one last time. If both sides confirm the match, then you are officially matched!

Our matching process is designed to find the strongest match possible. It is important to be candid and honest with Growing Generations, the Intended Parents and, most importantly, with yourself during this process. You’re laying the foundation for an intimate relationship that will span many months during these early conversations, and it’s important to begin building trust early.

 

Additional questions can always be directed to your admissions or case specialist at any point in the matching process.

 

Revised 5/15/18

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: An Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Red Wheel Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.