A Closer Look at Matching

The matching process of your surrogacy journey is a very exciting time! Over the course of several days or weeks you will be finding and deciding what family you will be helping to create or build upon. Here’s a closer look at how the Growing Generations’ matching process works.

The Surrogate Profile

Shortly after completing your consultation, you will be given access to our online surrogates’ portal. Part of this forum consists of an area for you to create a profile of yourself. This is a process you’ll usually begin after all of your other paperwork has been submitted.

In your profile, you’ll be asked to answer questions about things like why you wanted to become a surrogate, the type of relationship you’d like to have with the family you help, and your transfer and reduction preferences. You’ll also get the opportunity to talk about your family, brag about your kids, and share your hobbies and interests.

Take your time writing your profile, and make sure to check it for spelling and grammar mistakes. Each section of the profile will give the intended parents viewing it a glimpse into your heart and your family. First impressions matter.

The Intended Parent Profile

When an intended parent(s) retains Growing Generations, they are asked to create a profile about themselves as well. This profile is very similar to the one you’ve just created. Once they’ve finished their profile it is delivered to their case specialist. This profile remains active in our database until the intended parent(s) are matched with a gestational surrogate.

Profile Exchange

Someone from the Growing Generations’ admissions team is constantly reviewing surrogate and intended parent profiles to find pairings that may work well together. This individual plays match maker. The pairings are often based on similarities in key areas including fetal reduction preferences, desired communication levels, and legal geographic compatibility. Once our “match maker” believes we have a match, you will receive the profile of the intended parent(s).

Profile exchanges generally begin after all your paperwork has been received and the doctor has reviewed and approved your records. We may also have your insurance pre-approval from Lloyd’s of London around this time as well. You will only receive one intended parent profile at a time. Once you receive and review the profile, you will have the choice to accept or deny the opportunity to work with those intended parents. If you accept their profile, your profile will then be sent on to the intended parents.

The intended parents will then review your story, information, and pictures to decide if they’d like to work with you. They too will have the choice to accept or deny the potential match. The intended parent(s) are generally asked to provide us with an answer within 48 hours.

Once the intended parents have accepted your profile, you’ll move on to your match meeting!

Match Meeting

The match meeting is a facilitated meeting with the intended parents that you have agreed to work with. This meeting will be completed over live video conference.

During the meeting a Growing Generations’ employee will mediate and lead discussion between the two parties. Conversation will cover many of the things already discussed in your profile. Each side will also be given the opportunity to ask questions of one another.

At the close of the match meeting, each party is given twenty four hours to consider the match one more time. By the close of those twenty four hours, we ask each side to either accept or deny the match one last time. If both sides confirm the match, then you are officially matched!

Our matching process is designed to find the strongest match possible. It is important to be candid and honest with Growing Generations, the intended parent(s) and, most importantly, with yourself during this process. You’re laying the foundation for an intimate relationship that will span many months during these early conversations, and it’s important to begin building trust early.

Additional questions can always be directed to your admissions or case specialist at any point in the matching process.


Revised 6/14/21

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for intended parents, surrogates and donors. She is the co-owner of Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019) as well as the children's book You Began as a Wish (Independent Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. She has two adult daughters.