Beginning your Journey as a Surrogate: 3 keys to a successful experience
Three things will help make your surrogacy journey successful:
- Trust: as a foundation, not a blind “do whatever we say” trust. It needs to be at the core and in all directions. It is so important that you feel good about this process, and know that once Growing Generations goes forward with you, we trust you, and we ask that you trust us in return.
- Communication: it is really important that there are good lines of communication between all the people on the team. Returning phone calls, texts, etc. Communicating anything going on in your life or with the surrogacy is essential for the journey. If you call your Intended Parents (IPs) and they don’t get back to you, it’s normal to worry, “Do they care? Are they involved? How will they have time to be parents?” etc., but really, it’s just that they are living their busy lives. Same goes for you. If your IPs call or email and don’t hear from you, their heads go a little crazy too and they may think “Is she okay? Did she move to Mexico? Is she having second thoughts” and I would tell them the same thing, that you’re just living you busy, full life. So I ask that you and the IPs give each other space, but at the same time, be respectful and return communication in a timely manner.
- Flexibility: this is not a linear process. Growing Generations will control everything that we can control, but there are many moving parts, and we can’t control them all. For example, when the transfer is scheduled, it is based on a lot of factors. It’s really important that you are fluid about your expectations and know that things can change. Dates, like the transfer and due date are moving targets. I promise you that there will be some inconvenient times during your surrogacy. For example, the date of the transfer may get set, you’ll set up your life for that, your childcare, travel, time off work, etc., and a week before the transfer, the doctor calls you and tells you that the transfer is going to be a day earlier or 2 days later than originally anticipated. Being flexible in times like these, will make the journey much easier! That I can guarantee.
It’s important to remember that Surrogacy is a marathon, not a sprint!