Surrogacy As a Single Lady

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Some of our best surrogates come to us as strong willed single women. These women are single mothers and have a steadfast desire to help others create a family. They are independent, hardworking, and immensely appreciative of family bonds.

A single surrogate is defined as one who is not currently living with or sexually active with any other adult. Those involved in dating situations or other sexually active relationships are still considered “partnered” surrogates even if they are unmarried.

The screening process for a single surrogate differs from that of a partnered surrogate. A single surrogate will attend both screening and match meeting on her own. Growing Generations will contact the person she identifies as her primary support to ensure that they’re able to provide the support the surrogate will need.

We also understand that life happens. While you may be single during your screening and the early stages of your journey, it is entirely possible that you’ll meet someone during your journey.

Dating is allowed during the course of your journey, but you will want to make certain that suitors understand just how important your journey is to you, and that this journey could have implications on your developing relationship.

Your case/admissions specialist should be notified once you begin seeing someone regularly.

If you decide that you do want to become sexually active with this new person, he or she will need to be medically cleared as a precaution to you and the fetus. In some instances the screening can be done locally while in other situations the screening will need to be done in California. In either case, this screening will be done at an additional expense to your Intended Parents.

In most cases, our single surrogates tell us they chose to defer sexual relations until the close of their journey to avoid this additional screening and cost. Your case specialist is happy to talk with you about any potential relationships and ways to discuss your situation with a potential love interest.

Many of our single surrogates tell us that, in certain ways, going the journey alone can feel freeing. Without having a significant other around the house, they tell us they feel able to take time off of housework to just enjoy the pregnancy.

If you’re a single woman considering surrogacy we understand that you may have a great deal of questions. Our Admissions Specialists are able to help you navigate this incredible decision and help answer any additional questions you may have.

 

Revised on 4/17/18

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: An Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Red Wheel Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.