Surprise! Your Surrogate is Having Multiples!


While some parents will openly seek and try to achieve a multiple pregnancy, the news that your surrogate has been confirmed with more than one fetus can come as a surprise. In the rare instance that your surrogate becomes pregnant with triplets or other high order multiples the news can be immensely overwhelming. Whether achieved intentionally or not, the news of a multiple pregnancy can be equal parts exciting and terrifying.

Typically when a multiple pregnancy is confirmed we will reach out to both you and your surrogate to offer educational and emotional support. We find that the best outcomes happen when communication about multiples is moderated by Growing Generations staff as opposed to direct communication between your surrogate and yourself. Keep in mind that she is likely dealing with many emotions of her own centering around the realization that her body is carrying multiple fetuses and how that will impact her life and that of her family.

From time to time it may be important to schedule a consultation with a high risk pregnancy physician. We are happy to refer you to someone for this consultation. This person will be able to help you sort through the potential risks of continuing a multiple pregnancy and whether or not a reduction is something you should consider.

In the event that a reduction is needed or desired your Case Specialist will be able to walk you through what will happen and when. The Case Specialist will also be responsible for speaking with your surrogate about the procedure and ensuring that she has everything she needs in order to navigate the weeks ahead.

Know that we understand the wide range of emotions that come with that first ultrasound and are always ready to help you. From your Case Specialist to our high risk IVF physicians and co-owner and psychologist Dr. Kim Bergman, know that you have a wealth of information and support available to you at all times.

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for intended parents, surrogates and donors. She is the co-owner of Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019) as well as the children's book You Began as a Wish (Independent Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. She has two adult daughters.