The Cake with a Cherry on Top: A Growing Generations Testimonial

When Bob and Greg made the decision to pursue having a child, life was great. They had fulfilling careers, lived active lives, and traveled a lot. But, all of it was nothing compared to the adventure they began in 2008 that resulted in the birth of their son, Henry, with the help of an amazing Growing Generations surrogate.

We asked them if they’d be willing to share their experience of becoming parents and tell us in their own words how it happened and how it has changed their lives forever.

Why did you choose to work with Growing Generations?

Once we decided to pursue surrogacy, we considered several options, but it soon became clear that Growing Generations was the best choice. We loved that GG had an entire apparatus and staff dedicated to making people’s dreams come true. In a process that naturally has a lot of built-in emotional vulnerability, we felt like we’d be safe with GG. And our instincts proved correct. GG matched us with the perfect surrogate, a kind and wonderful woman with a supportive husband and kids. They became our family. The entire experience exceeded even our best expectations.

What surprised you the most about working with Growing Generations?

The support and quality of the GG staff is what surprised us most. We felt like we were dealing with people who weren’t only knowledgeable but compassionate, and passionate about their jobs. We really felt cared for. 

Henry celebrated his tenth birthday in December 2018. How has your life changed in the ten years since his birth?

Everything changed, and continues to change still. We can’t imagine life without Henry. Not only because he’s been the center of our world for what seems forever now, but because he cracked open our hearts and taught us to love in ways we didn’t know were possible. We thought we were pretty decent human beings before Henry came along. But he’s forced us to grow into people we’re not sure we ever would’ve become without him. Before, we felt like we had complete lives and that having a kid would be the cherry on the cake. It turned out we were wrong. Everything we had—travel, a nice home, good jobs—was the puny little cherry; Henry was the cake.   

What are your favorite parts of being dads? 

It’s a cliché, but getting the chance to see the world through a child’s eyes. Reliving that sense of wonder he has when he finds a really cool rock or climbs a tree. Experiencing pure, unadulterated love. Cuddles before bedtime. We could go on and on …

 

 

Dr. Kim Bergman

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman’s is the author of the upcoming book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.