One of the tests that you’ll have completed during your journey is a Vitamin D screening. This screening, completed by a simple blood test, is something that you’ll do in your own hometown (or at least close by) prior to being flown to California for your in-person screenings. If your results come back low, you may be asked to add a supplement to your diet.

Vitamin D, more commonly known as the sunshine vitamin, is essential in pregnancy and critical to IVF success. Studies show a link between proper Vitamin D levels and IVF success. Not only will egg donors with proper Vitamin D levels produce better quality embryos, but surrogates who have ideal Vitamin D levels are more likely to have a transfer result in an implanted embryo (positive pregnancy result) than those with a Vitamin D deficiency.

In fact, studies have shown that women attempting to become pregnant through IVF who maintain ideal Vitamin D levels are twice as likely to become pregnant than women who are Vitamin D deficient.

Once pregnant, having adequate levels of vitamin D will benefit the developing fetus and help you maintain your bone density during the pregnancy. It also helps ensure that your immune system is performing at top notch to keep you feeling as good as possible throughout the pregnancy.

Studies have shown several scary potential side effects of pregnancies completed when Vitamin D levels are not adequate. Infants can be born with low birth weights, occasionally leading to poor skeletal development and immune system problems throughout their lives. For you, a pregnancy completed without proper Vitamin D levels could mean poor calcium absorption and a greater stress on your own bone reserves. You could be more prone to break a bone both during and after the pregnancy.

Some women are more prone to low vitamin D levels than others. Women with darker skin tones and those who are more likely to have their skin covered while outside (due either to style choices or inclement weather) tend to have lower Vitamin D levels.

In general, most doctors consider a Vitamin D level of 20 ng/ml to be sufficient for daily life but recommend a level no lower than 30 ng/ml for optimal IVF and pregnancy benefits. If your levels fall below the minimum requirement of 30 ng/ml, you will likely be asked to introduce a supplement to your diet, wait a period of time, and then complete a second Vitamin D screening before moving forward towards an embryo transfer. If your levels are significantly too low, you may be asked to follow-up with your family doctor to try and pinpoint the low levels and correct any underlying issues. Occasionally this comes with an injection of Vitamin D.

Once a repeat blood test indicates that you’ve hit the minimum barrier for IVF success, we can prepare your in-person screening.

When your surrogacy journey ends with an extended hospital stay it can feel overwhelming and emotionally draining. This may be a challenging way to enter into your parenthood journey, but parenthood is rarely a smooth experience. We have faith that you can navigate this first hurdle. Here’s a look at what to expect if your surrogate-born baby must stay in the NICU, and how we can help you during this time.

WHAT YOU'RE FEELING

You may be feeling a whirlwind of emotions, including fear or anxiety if your new child needs time in the NICU. You could be feeling stress about the financial implications of extended hospital care for your child or your surrogate or feeling confused about what is expected of you and who to talk to when it comes to managing expenses. All of this is likely happening in a city you're not familiar with while your normal life goes on back home. It’s a lot to manage at once--we understand. Whatever you’re feeling is normal, and your mental health specialist is available to talk with you about your emotions and how to manage them if you’d like.

WHAT'S EXPECTED OF YOU

If your surrogate needs to be hospitalized for an extended period of time, be it before or after the delivery, you will be responsible for any additional medical expenses that occur as the result of the pregnancy or birth. Additionally, you will be responsible for additional lost wages, child care, and housekeeping expenses that may arise as a result of an extended hospital stay.

If your surrogate is going to express breast milk for your use, you will be responsible for the costs of a breast pump, nursing supplies, and compensation for your surrogate. These expenses are outlined in your contract with your surrogate.

HOW TO BALANCE IT ALL

You’re likely going to spend a fair amount of time in a city that you aren’t familiar with. The best thing to do is look into long-term housing options. We recommend looking into furnished apartments with a kitchen. Not only are they far more affordable than hotels, they’ll also give you a “home base” and sense of comfort in the days or weeks to come. If you know that you’ll need to be in your surrogate’s hometown for an extended period following the birth, it can be advantageous to look into this sort of lodging in advance of the delivery. This is prudent especially in the instance of multiples.

Next up, it is in your best interest to identify your hospital social worker and establish a good rapport with this person. Growing Generations will not be with you at the hospital, and the hospital social worker is your best link for on-site support and guidance. It is likely that you will meet this person during your 20-week hospital tour.

Finally, consider allowing your surrogate time with your new child. Quite often, surrogates feel as though they’ve failed in their mission to carry a child for you if the child needs to spend time in the NICU. She may also be jarred from a premature end to her surrogate journey. Allowing your surrogate time with the child that she carried for you is a kindness that will help with her emotional and physical recovery.

Growing Generations is here to support you as you welcome your baby into your family, however that occurs. If you're considering surrogacy agencies for your own journey, please reach out to us online or call us at 323.965.7500. Our team is known for our white-glove attention to detail and compassionate, knowledgeable support for intended parents, surrogates, and egg donors. 

The choice of when to share your IVF pregnancy announcement with those around you is a moment so many parents-to-be dream about for years. When you’re becoming a parent through surrogacy, sometimes this announcement takes on new levels of planning. 

Intended parents may also feel nervous or stressed about sharing their baby news because they aren't sure how others around them will react. There are a few different approaches intended parents take when sharing their big news.

ANNOUNCING IVF PREGNANCY EARLY

It can be hard to keep such happy news a secret, especially when the road to pregnancy for most intended parents has been such a long one. Some intended parents feel that sharing the news of a positive pregnancy test early allows friends and family to share in their initial excitement and provides them with support and empathy from those around them.

WAITING UNTIL AFTER THE FIRST TRIMESTER TO MAKE YOUR IVF BABY ANNOUNCEMENT

Many intended parents wait until the 12th week of pregnancy to share their pregnancy news, as the rate of miscarriage drops dramatically from this point on. Many parents-to-be may also wait until after the first-trimester screening (or further testing with amniocentesis) is complete. Intended parents in this category generally feel as though withholding the news of a pregnancy until it appears to be viable provides them a safety net in the unfortunate event of a first-trimester miscarriage.

SHARING BABY NEWS IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER OR AFTER BIRTH

Finally, some parents choose to wait to share the news of their pregnancy until late in the third trimester or even until after the birth. This choice is made for a variety of personal reasons, and a late reveal is an option uniquely available to parents through surrogacy.

What is important to remember is that there is no singular “right” time to share your pregnancy news. The right time for one parent may not be ideal at all for another. You’ll need to balance your desires for privacy, support, and inclusion as you decide when you want to share. This announcement is just the first of many new decisions you’ll need to make from the heart.

Growing Generations is here to support you throughout your family-building journey. To get started, fill out our intended parent application or reach out to us online. 

The choice to become a surrogate is overwhelmingly exciting! It’s not unusual to be very excited to share your news with your friends and family. In fact, the choice to become a surrogate is rarely one that you can keep 100% secret, as you’ll find that you may need to rely on friends or family as early as the screening phase, since you’re likely to need a babysitter for your screening process.

So, once you’re accepted and matched into our program, how do you know when it’s the best time to share your news with the world? Since it’s probably not ideal or realistic to wait until the birth to share your pregnancy news, you have two simple time frames to choose between. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

EARLY ANNOUNCERS

Most surrogates will choose to go public with their news well before they’re pregnant. This can be beneficial for many reasons. First, it allows the people closest to you the luxury of time. They’ll be able to thoughtfully consider the incredible gift that you’re giving, and they'll have time to come up with any questions they may have for you about the process. You’ll also be able to gather support for the time that you’re on hormone therapy, and it can be helpful if those around you understand why your mood may be a bit off during this time.

MID-PREGNANCY PLANNERS

Other surrogates choose to wait until about halfway through their pregnancy to share the news of their surrogacy. This allows them some privacy from invasive questions and safeguards them against having to tell friends or family about a potential early pregnancy loss. By waiting until the midway point of your pregnancy, you ensure a bit of peace and privacy for your family.

When it comes to telling your boss, delayed sharing allows you to keep the secret a bit longer in the sad possibility of an early miscarriage. Some women also feel as though their bosses would not allow time away from work for important surrogacy appointments or procedures. If this is your situation, feel confident knowing you are not required to tell your boss why you’re missing work for medically related absences.

As for your children, a handful of variables will come into play. Things like your children’s ages, maturity levels, and general awareness all play into choosing when it is best to tell them your surrogacy plans. Here’s a more in-depth look at that decision-making process.

A WORD ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Social media is never secret. Even if your social media accounts have the highest level of security, you’ll find that word can travel pretty quickly. The whole premise of social networking is that it makes it easy to follow the lives of friends and family without direct interaction. We mention this as a reminder that if you’re not ready for your boss, your brother, or your book club to know your news, it’s probably not the time to talk about it on social media.

Selecting an egg donor is an intimate and personal choice. It is a major milestone in your journey toward building or growing a family. When you’re ready to begin the process, it will be important to consider what characteristics and qualities are most important to you and discuss those with your partner and/or social networks.

You’ll also have to decide whether to find an egg donor through personal connections, an agency or social app. Here are a few attributes that many intended parents consider while going through egg donor profiles at Growing Generations.

CONSIDERATIONS WHEN CHOOSING A DONOR

Before creating your checklist, remember that no one is perfect. Keep in mind that it is highly unlikely you will find one donor who meets all of your specifications in every area. Just as with all things in life, choosing your ideal egg donor is a balancing act, so it’s helpful to decide what the most important attributes are in your ideal egg donor and which are more secondary or optional.

WILL THE EGG DONOR BE KNOWN OR UNKNOWN?

Decide whether you prefer an egg donor you know, such as a friend or family member, or someone who is unknown to you. Some intended parents prefer to choose a known donor so that the child will be able to form a relationship with her. Others prefer an unknown donor that an agency or fertility center helps them find. The latter option provides greater confidentiality and simplifies some of the legal issues.

WHAT IS HER MEDICAL BACKGROUND?

In order to do your part in having a child that is healthy and not at risk of hereditary diseases, make sure to have a full medical analysis and screening performed before confirming your egg donor.

WHAT ARE HER PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS?

For many intended parents, choosing a donor who shares their physical traits is important. When going through an agency, you will have a wide selection of women to choose from, so narrowing your preferences can save you time and stress. Factors such as ethnicity, skin tone, height and hair and eye color are common considerations.

WHAT PERSONALITY TRAITS DOES SHE HAVE?

It helps some intended parents to know a little bit about the kind of person their chosen egg donor is. This makes it easier to create a birth story that is empowering and interesting for their child. Your egg donor’s profile will help paint a picture of who she is, including her reasons for becoming an egg donor. This knowledge can help you decide between multiple candidates. IQ test scores are also often shared if the egg donor has taken the test.

DOES SHE HAVE A HISTORY OF DONATING EGGS?

Are you willing to work with a first-time donor, or do you prefer someone who has been through this process before? When working with a previous donor, you may be able to see if she produced a strong amount of viable eggs, and if they resulted in a successful pregnancy.

WORKING WITH AN AGENCY

When you search for an egg donor through Growing Generations, we are hard at work behind the scenes to help you find the right donor. Before an applicant can become an egg donor, she will answer many questions about herself including information on her health history, her family’s health history, if she’s on medication, and if she is a tobacco user. Growing Generations’ egg donors meet strict criteria for acceptance including:

• A BMI lower than 27.5

• Between the ages of 21-30

• No history of inherited cancers

• No familial history of multiple family members with heart disease or heart attack before age 55

• Must pass Sexually Transmitted Infection Screening

• Must pass drug screening

• No psychiatric hospitalizations

Growing Generations knows the first meeting between a surrogate and intended parent(s) can feel much like a blind date. It’s normal for those on both sides to feel nervous or anxious leading up to the event – whether it’s via videoconference or in person.   Here are some tips for that first of many meetings you’ll have along the surrogacy journey.             

• Take time to prepare. Before the meeting, do your due diligence to read over your surrogate’s profile and come up with a list of questions you’d like to ask. These can be lighthearted or more serious questions about topics such as carrying multiples. Discuss your ideas with your partner and/or support network, then write them down to have with you during the meeting. If you’re planning a video call, make sure you have a strong internet connection to avoid the awkward technology issues that may occur at the beginning if your call drops.

• Think about communication etiquette. Be thoughtful about the way you ask questions and what you decide to talk about. If you’re working through an agency such as Growing Generations, there is no reason to discuss finances or medical advice during a match meeting. It’s important to trust your surrogate and the expert guidance of their doctors and agency. Instead, ask questions about family, lifestyle, hobbies and what motivated them to be a part of this journey.

• Don’t do all the talking. You may get nervous and start rambling during the conversation. However, remember they want to get to know you as well. Invite them to ask you questions and be prepared to share information and stories about yourself.

• Set expectations for the future. This is the perfect time to create communication expectations. Will you chat weekly or monthly? Do you plan to have phone calls or in-person visits? Will the surrogate send pictures of her progress? You might even ask about post-birth communication. Think through your expectations before the meeting, and be prepared to compromise as needed.

• Remember what’s been happening behind the scenes. The surrogate you are about to meet has not been paired with you by accident. Our highly personalized application and matching process has led to this moment based on your profiles and desires for this process. With that in mind, you can breathe easier knowing that you’ll be speaking with someone who is invested in this journey just like you are. They have passed many screenings – an extensive application, interviews, psychological evaluations, a medical examination by an in vitro fertilization specialist, a criminal background check and a drug, nicotine and infectious disease screening – to get to this point. Simply focus on getting to know one another to confirm if you would like to proceed together. If not, we have a Match Guarantee Program.

Every match meeting doesn’t look the same, so these tips are just a guide to help you get started on a successful conversation. Remember that you can be yourself and don’t need to put on a show.