Stories have always been a powerful communication tool, and that’s no different when we’re talking to little ones about about how they were created. Whether you’re an egg donor, surrogate, or intended parent, you likely will be excited and proud to tell your current and future children about your decision. However, finding a way to explain something so scientific to young minds can feel challenging. Children are full of curiosity, even at a young age. 

As a parent, you can educate your child on the subject of their birth story or the birth story of another child without it being an uncomfortable topic of conversation. One way to broach the subject, especially with younger children, is through topical books. As assisted reproduction grows in popularity, more and more authors are penning books for children about egg donation that explore the topics in an age-appropriate way. 

Here are a few books to consider, including those that can open the door to discussion with slightly older kids. 

EXPLAINING EGG DONATION TO YOUR CHILDREN

Stories to Share

• You Began as a Wish by Dr. Kim Bergman: This wonderful children's book written by Dr. Kim Bergman, author of Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction, and beautifully illustrated by Irit Pollack, answers those questions in simple, easy-to-understand language. Use this book to help your children understand all the parts that came together to make them who they are, beginning with a wish!

• “A Tiny Itsy Bitsy Gift of Life, An Egg Donor Story for Boys” by Carmen Martinez Jover: Egg donation is explained through the context of a family of rabbits in this touching story.

• “One Little Egg” by Kimberly F. DeMeo: Readers follow the journey of an egg all the way from the “Donor Egg Academy.”

• “The Pea That Was Me: An Egg-Donation Story” by Kimberly Kluger-Bell: This is one of many books in a series that helps parents explain birth stories.

• “A Very Special Lady: A Story about IVF, an Egg Donor and a Little Girl” by Nell Carswell: Discover a beautifully illustrated story about “a very special lady.”

• “Mommy, Was Your Tummy Big?” by Caroline Nadel: Great for small children, this book explains egg donation through a mom and baby elephant.

• “A Part Was Given and an Angel was Born” by Rozanne Nathalie: With phrases that lift the heaviness of the topic, this is a sweet story about egg donation.

• “How We Became a Family” (Version Egg Donor — Twins) by Teresa Villegas: Find a combination of science and a love story in this helpful book for parents.

• “Hope & Will Have A Baby: The Gift of Egg Donation” by Irene Celcer: This is part of a series addressing various topics with subtitles such as “The Gift of Sperm Donation” and “The Gift of Surrogacy.”

If you want to keep the conversation going with your kids, we also list helpful children's books about surrogacy in a related blog post.

Our Growing Generations team delights in helping you navigate the wonders of egg donation and surrogacy. If you're considering becoming an egg donor or surrogate or you want to build your family through surrogacy, get started by completing our online application form.

Another bit of jargon you may encounter on your way to transfer day includes the terms “mock cycle” and “dropped cycle.” Both are IVF terms used when a surrogate takes medications as directed but does not transfer an embryo at the end of the cycle. Here’s a look at what each term means and how they differ.

WHAT IS A MOCK CYCLE?

A mock cycle is when a doctor puts a surrogate on full or partial medicines and monitors her as if she was planning to transfer with the clear intent that she will not transfer an embryo. This can be ordered for a number of reasons with the most common being that the doctor wants to observe how the surrogate’s body responds to a certain medication. 

An IVF mock cycle allows the doctor to ensure that the surrogate's body, most specifically the endometrium lining, is capable of reaching levels that will support pregnancy and make implantation likely—without the cost of preparing an egg that could potentially be lost to unfavorable conditions. At the conclusion of the mock cycle, medicines or dosages may be changed or fine-tuned in order to create optimum results in the real cycle.

You can learn more about embryo transfer preparation on our Surrogacy Process page. 

WHAT IS A DROPPPED CYCLE?

A dropped cycle is when a surrogate is taking all prescribed IVF medications with the intent of transferring an embryo at the end of the med-cycle, but the transfer is canceled. This can be ordered because of many factors, including:.

• The egg donor or intended mother’s response to medicines

• A mistake in properly following protocol

• The quality of the eggs retrieved

• Having eggs lost to the thawing process 

However, a surrogate with a thin lining can also cause a transfer to be canceled or “dropped.” If you experience a dropped cycle in your journey, you will most likely consult with your IVF doctor, make changes to the medical plan and try again in the next month.

Growing Generations is here to support surrogates throughout the process. If you or someone you know is interested in becoming a surrogate, you can fill out an application or contact us online for questions or more information.

Bleeding during pregnancy can be incredibly scary. Bleeding while in a surrogate IVF pregnancy can be doubly worrisome as so much care has already been taken to attain the pregnancy. 

IS BLEEDING NORMAL DURING IVF PREGNANCY?

Pregnancies achieved through IVF often have a higher rate of bleeding than a conventional pregnancy. Roughly 40% of women carrying an IVF pregnancy will experience bleeding. The elevated instance of bleeding could be attributed to a number of factors, including more vaginal exams and the medications being taken to increase blood flow. This type of bleeding can range from light pink to dark brown and everything from light spotting to menstrual-like flow. 

IVF PREGNANCY AND BLEEDING: POTENTIAL CAUSES

The first thing to realize is that many women experience bleeding in pregnancy and continue to have perfectly healthy pregnancies. Women often assume that the appearance of blood means an inevitable miscarriage is looming. Contrary to that misconception, there are several reasons a woman might experience bleeding during pregnancy, and not all of them are bad. Common causes for bleeding in pregnancy include: 

Implantation Bleeding 

Implantation bleeding or spotting after an IVF cycle is common. Light bleeding or spotting is often the first sign of pregnancy, or may be a side effect of hormone medications.

Sub-chorionic Hemorrhage/Hematoma

Most hematomas heal on their own and are not a reason for concern because they are small or cause light bleeding. Your doctor likely will perform an ultrasound to assess the size and location of the hematoma and determine if any treatment is necessary. Heavier bleeding should be monitored.

Vaginal Infection

Very common in early pregnancy, vaginal infections are treatable. Common diagnoses include both yeast and urinary tract infections.

Irritation From Intercourse

Other times, bleeding may be present that is unexplained by any obvious cause. Sometimes, the bleeding is indeed a sign of a troubled pregnancy.

WHAT IF I EXPERIENCE BLEEDING AT 4, 6, OR 8 WEEKS? 

Bleeding farther along in your pregnancy can be unsettling. Call or email your case specialist and nurse representative right away. If you begin bleeding at 4 weeks, it's important to remain calm and monitor the amount and duration of bleeding. As the pregnancy progresses, bleeding can trigger concern. At 6 weeks, bleeding accompanied by severe pain requires immediate attention. If you notice any bleeding at 8 weeks, you should contact your doctor and avoid any strenuous activities.

We're here with you every step of the way. Contact Growing Generations to learn more about surrogacy.

The majority of surrogate births occur at a significant distance from your home. In many cases, the distance will necessitate a plane ride home with your newborn. This reality can send chills down the back of any new parent. Flying with a newborn doesn’t have to be a stressful event; it just takes a little pre-planning and a lot of patience.

How To Fly With a Newborn 

#1. Travel Documents

As an intended parent, you’ll want to make sure you have your paperwork updated and easily available. 

• For domestic births, this simply means calling the airline after the birth to add an infant in lap to your ticket. 

• For international couples you’ll need to add the infant to your reservation as well as ensure that your child’s passport is ready and stored with your own. 

#2. Be Flexible

Be prepared for anything. Many times, a newborn’s behavior during that first flight will vary slightly from what you’re becoming used to. Regularly hearty eaters may sleep through feedings, while a light eater may consume twice the amount they normally do. Try to follow your newborn’s lead.

#3. Prepare for In-Air Feedings

Plan on having more food on hand than your newborn would usually consume. If using formula, have it pre-measured (single-use packets or snack-sized Zip-Lock baggies work great) and in an easily accessible location. 

Airports in the U.S. do allow unlimited ounces of breast milk and baby formula to be brought through security, despite the standardly enforced three-ounce maximum rule. Your fluids may be subject to additional screening, but they should not be confiscated.

#4. Pack Plenty of Changing Supplies

Also plan on having more diapers than you think you could need. Perhaps the only thing worse than running out of food is running out of clean diapers! While you’re at it, you may want to throw in a spare outfit or two in case of a diaper blowout. An aisle seat may also be a good idea for ease of diaper change and bathroom trips.

#5. Dress (You & Your Baby) for Success

Another great tip is to dress your newborn in layers. Airplanes are predictably unpredictable when it comes to the onboard temperature, and you’ll want to make sure your child is prepared for both hot, stuffy environments as well as cool, breezy ones. This is also a solid tip for yourself. Layers can help not only your comfort, but your potential need for a change of shirt in the event of spit up or a bad diaper encounter.

#6. Choose the Right Airline

Remember that not all airlines are created equal when it comes to caring for their tiniest passengers. Before you book your flights you may be well served to look into a few different airlines and compare their newborn policies against each other. This is especially important for international intended parents. (Read our related blog post for information about the best airlines for international travel with a baby.)

#7. Try To Relax

Finally, try not to stress over the flight too much. It’s been a long journey just to get to this flight, try to take time to enjoy the moment as you fly home with your new family. Not only will this more relaxed approach benefit your stress levels, but research suggests it can prevent your baby from feeling stressed too.

Growing Generations attends to your needs throughout your surrogacy journey. If you're ready to take the next step toward building your family through surrogacy—and looking forward to flying home with your new baby—contact Growing Generations. You can also apply today online to get started.

The distance between your home and your surrogate’s home is often very large and can present a bit of a challenge when it comes to bonding with your surrogate baby in utero. Despite the distance, many intended parents still desire to form a bond with their unborn child. 

HOW TO CONNECT WITH YOUR BABY IN THE WOMB

The good news is that there are many ways to form a connection across the miles, it just takes is a little creativity! Here are some bonding options that can help you get to know your growing baby.

SOUND

Perhaps the easiest way to introduce your child to you is through the sound of your voice. Research continues to show that fetuses are able to hear voices (and music) from the outside world while inside of the womb and will often recognize those voices after birth. 

Products such as “Belly Buds” allow intended parents to record their voices from one location and then send them to another standard audio device located anywhere in the world. The surrogate then places “ear buds” on her belly and plays your recording. Using products like this you will be able to read, sing, or simply talk to your growing baby. This can help your baby to recognize the sound of your voice at the time of birth.

WORDS

Consider writing letters to your unborn baby or keeping a journal for the child. List how you’re feeling through each stage and practice talking to your child. Getting into the habit of communicating with your child now can help create a feeling of familiarity at birth. You can also send your letters to your surrogate and ask that she read them to the baby. Even if you keep these thoughts just for yourself, you can begin to build a relationship with the baby by this routine act of communication.

PREFERENCES

Perhaps your baby gets very active every time your surrogate eats peanut butter. Maybe it’s Cheerios cereal that gets your little one moving. Is your future child a night owl or an early bird? Try asking your surrogate about your baby’s food preferences and times of activity. Then try mirroring those preferences. Try eating the foods that your little one likes and being active when they are most awake. You could be getting an early look into their sleep schedule and personality!

INSTINCTS

Many women will tell you that they had an inkling into their newborn’s personality before the baby was ever born. Will the baby be peaceful or antsy? Will he sleep soundly or lightly? 

Talking with your surrogate about any suspicions she has about your baby’s personality could offer insight into their personalities, even if it is just a guess and far from scientific. Even if your surrogate’s guesses wind up completely wrong, you can still have fun imagining the baby’s personality this way. (Learn more about building a strong relationship with your surrogate to facilitate these types of interactions in our related blog post.)

THE JOY OF BONDING WITH BABY

However you choose to form a bond with your growing baby, have fun with it! Pregnancy is an exciting and brief time in the grand scheme of parenthood, and enjoying every moment will help create a bond all of its own.

GETTING STARTED

If you haven't yet started your surrogacy journey to parenthood, we welcome getting to know you. You can get started by completing our intended parent application form. 

It’s important during this phase of your process to establish the foundation of your relationship with your surrogate.  Here’s what I hear from surrogates about what they are looking for.

Surrogates are not looking for a new best friend. Their goal is to help you create your family and the pay-off for them is seeing you gazing at your newborn for the first time. During the process, however there are things that can help make your relationship smooth and pleasant. I always tell surrogates and intended parents that there are four things that make a surrogacy relationship work. They are trust, communication, appropriate boundaries and flexibility.

The most important ingredient in any surrogacy relationship is trust. Trust is the foundation of surrogacy and should be at the core of your relationship with your surrogate. This is not total, unconditional, blind trust, but trust as a mutual gift that you give one another. Surrogates want to feel that you trust them and that you know that your baby is in good hands. They don't want or need to be managed by you (although of course it's understandable that you want lots of details). If you have a solid foundation of trust in your surrogate and she in you, you will be able to relax and enjoy your surrogacy journey.

The next important ingredient in your surrogacy relationship is communication. While you and your surrogate will have a team of professionals that you can talk to throughout your journey being able to communicate with each other about your relationship and about the pregnancy will help you feel that you are really participating and it will help your surrogate feel that you really care. At the core of good communication is having clear and articulated expectations. It is totally appropriate to ask your surrogate how much and what kind of communication she wants. It is also important for you to be clear about how much communication you want. The best way to keep open lines of communication with your surrogate is to be interested in her and her life, but you can keep it light and let the relationship develop naturally.

Boundaries are an essential part of any relationship and the surrogacy relationship is no different. You can always open a boundary as the process progresses, but once you open a boundary up it is very hard to close it again. Be careful not to make promises that you can't keep--remember your surrogacy relationship exists for one goal: to help you create your family. Intended parents sometimes make the mistake of "falling in love at first sight" with their surrogate when they meet her and realize that she is the woman who will help them fulfill their dream of parenthood. In that honeymoon phase they may reveal things or promise things that they later regret. The rule of thumb is: take it slow, be warm and authentic and have good boundaries.

The final ingredient in the surrogacy relationship is flexibility. Surrogacy is not a linear process and there are many points in the journey where flexibility will be essential. Remember that your surrogate probably has a very full life outside of the surrogacy and although your journey to parenthood may be first and foremost on your mind, she also has to think about her kids, her partner, and her job, and the surrogacy may not always be first in line for her attention. So, be flexible in your expectations of her. She doesn't need to return your call instantly to be taking good care of her body and your baby!

Overall, your surrogate's primary goal is to succeed at having your baby--the relationship that you have along the way is the backdrop for that unfolding story and the beginning chapter in your child's life. When you trust each other, have good, open communication, live inside of appropriate and fluid boundaries and bring flexibility to all of your expectations you set the stage for a wonderful journey together!