The distance between your home and your surrogate’s home is often very large and can present a bit of a challenge when it comes to bonding with your surrogate baby in utero. Despite the distance, many intended parents still desire to form a bond with their unborn child. 

HOW TO CONNECT WITH YOUR BABY IN THE WOMB

The good news is that there are many ways to form a connection across the miles, it just takes is a little creativity! Here are some bonding options that can help you get to know your growing baby.

SOUND

Perhaps the easiest way to introduce your child to you is through the sound of your voice. Research continues to show that fetuses are able to hear voices (and music) from the outside world while inside of the womb and will often recognize those voices after birth. 

Products such as “Belly Buds” allow intended parents to record their voices from one location and then send them to another standard audio device located anywhere in the world. The surrogate then places “ear buds” on her belly and plays your recording. Using products like this you will be able to read, sing, or simply talk to your growing baby. This can help your baby to recognize the sound of your voice at the time of birth.

WORDS

Consider writing letters to your unborn baby or keeping a journal for the child. List how you’re feeling through each stage and practice talking to your child. Getting into the habit of communicating with your child now can help create a feeling of familiarity at birth. You can also send your letters to your surrogate and ask that she read them to the baby. Even if you keep these thoughts just for yourself, you can begin to build a relationship with the baby by this routine act of communication.

PREFERENCES

Perhaps your baby gets very active every time your surrogate eats peanut butter. Maybe it’s Cheerios cereal that gets your little one moving. Is your future child a night owl or an early bird? Try asking your surrogate about your baby’s food preferences and times of activity. Then try mirroring those preferences. Try eating the foods that your little one likes and being active when they are most awake. You could be getting an early look into their sleep schedule and personality!

INSTINCTS

Many women will tell you that they had an inkling into their newborn’s personality before the baby was ever born. Will the baby be peaceful or antsy? Will he sleep soundly or lightly? 

Talking with your surrogate about any suspicions she has about your baby’s personality could offer insight into their personalities, even if it is just a guess and far from scientific. Even if your surrogate’s guesses wind up completely wrong, you can still have fun imagining the baby’s personality this way. (Learn more about building a strong relationship with your surrogate to facilitate these types of interactions in our related blog post.)

THE JOY OF BONDING WITH BABY

However you choose to form a bond with your growing baby, have fun with it! Pregnancy is an exciting and brief time in the grand scheme of parenthood, and enjoying every moment will help create a bond all of its own.

GETTING STARTED

If you haven't yet started your surrogacy journey to parenthood, we welcome getting to know you. You can get started by completing our intended parent application form. 

Pre and post-birth orders are items of extreme interest in gestational surrogacy. Both assign parentage to the intended parents and remove any rights or obligations from the surrogate. These birth orders can also cause a great deal of stress for both intended parents and surrogates when they’re not properly understood.

In the simplest of terms, a birth order is a legal document assigning parentage to a child. Depending on the state in which your surrogate lives, these documents can be started in the fourth month of pregnancy and are often signed by the seventh month in pre-birth order states. In post-birth order states, intended parents are usually seen in court within three to five days following birth.

The most important thing to understand about the pre-birth order is that while it may be issued by the court prior to the birth, it is not effective until the birth occurs. So, while having this court order signed two to three months prior to the birth may offer you some peace of mind, it is not an absolute necessity and should not cause you distress if early labor occurs before your pre-birth order is finalized. Parentage will be protected by other guardianship documents even if the pre-birth order is not in place at the time of the birth.

Some states do not offer the option of a pre-birth order. These states, post-birth states, do not allow the filing of parentage documents until after the birth of the baby to file parentage documents. In these post-birth order states, there will typically be a court hearing held after the birth, and the intended parents may be required to attend. Even if a hearing is required, know that these hearings are typically a formality and agreed upon easily by the courts as all parties are in agreement over the desired parentage of the child in question.

Court hearings can just as easily be required in states offering pre-birth orders. This reality, paired with the fact that pre-birth orders aren’t considered active until the birth of your child, makes the real-life difference between pre-birth and post-birth order states insignificant. In general, don’t let fear of working with a post-birth state scare you away from someone who could be your ideal surrogate. If you do choose a pre-birth state, everything will work out with or without your pre-birth order in hand at the time of the delivery. Additional questions about birth orders should be directed to the attorney's office helping you establish your parental rights.

For the safety and health of all involved in egg donation and surrogacy, egg donors are carefully screened—and that includes screening for sexually transmitted diseases and infections. If you're wondering if you can donate eggs if you have (or had) an STD or HIV, this post will explain what you need to know.

FDA-REQUIRED SCREENING

The FDA has created a list of communicable diseases that they require all IVF centers to test for in order to deem a candidate qualified to donate human reproductive tissue—in this case, your eggs. Diseases on this list include: 

• Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)

• Hepatitis B& C

• Syphilis

• Chlamydia

• Gonorrhea

The FDA gives IVF clinics the ability to screen for additional diseases at will, so from time to time, additional tests may be ordered. 

You can learn more about medical screenings and other concerns on our Egg Donor Requirements page.

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU TEST POSITIVE FOR AN STD?

If your STD screening comes back positive for one or more of these diseases, it can mean a potential end to your journey to egg donation. 

In other cases, this diagnosis will only cause a pause in your donation. Many sexually transmitted diseases are able to be treated and cured with medications from a doctor. STDs in this category include bacterial infections like chlamydia, gonorrhea, and some early stages of syphilis.

In these cases, once the transmission has been treated and cleared, there is no viable reason to deny a donation from this donor. If you find yourself in this situation, we will ask that you have the STD or STI treated and reapply when you have been clear of positive screening for a minimum of one year. 

Any additional questions about STDs and egg donation can be discussed on an individual basis with your admissions specialist during the screening process. Learn more about what to do (and not to do) in the days leading up to your egg donation in our related blog post.

Get Started

If you're ready to become an egg donor, please contact us online or apply today.

Becoming an egg donor means donating your DNA in order to help create a family for someone else. This huge responsibility motivates us to ensure that our egg donors are genetically sound as well as physically healthy. This means our potential egg donors need to be tobacco free. Research has shown time and time again that using tobacco products can have an adverse effect on fertility. Specifically, studies have shown that female smokers will produce fewer follicles, fewer usable eggs, and fewer eggs capable of fertilization when stimulated for IVF treatments. There is also a link between miscarriage and tobacco users that could be the result of poor egg quality. That research, compounded with the negative effects of tobacco on the overall health of the user, serve as the basis for our tobacco free requirement. 

As part of our responsibility to our intended parents, we require our egg donors to pass a tobacco screening during their application process. Apart from helping to make you healthier, the absence of tobacco and other additives found in cigarettes will make your eggs a better quality as well. Within six months of stopping smoking your lungs will begin to repair themselves and your body will be free of nicotine and other harmful additives found in cigarettes. If you are a current smoker and wish to donate your eggs with us, we encourage you to look into stopping smoking. Once you have been tobacco free for a minimum of six months, we invite you to apply with us and move through the screening process. Do note that a failed tobacco screening will disqualify you from moving forward. 

If you are interested in becoming a donor with Growing Generations apply today.

From time to time, a transferred embryo will implant but fail to lead to a viable pregnancy. Generally, only 10-20% of pregnancies confirmed by either blood test or ultrasound are statistically likely to end in miscarriage. This is likely a very emotional time for both you and your intended parents, but you will need to make the decision on how you will clear your uterus of the placenta and tissue formed during early pregnancy.

In most cases of an early miscarriage or blighted ovum, you will be presented with a few options. The most common options include either a natural miscarriage or a medical dilation and curettage (D&C) procedure. Weighing the benefits of a D&C vs a natural miscarriage is important. Here’s a look at how they differ.

NATURAL MISCARRIAGE

Choosing a natural miscarriage will allow your body to dispel the tissue on its own and without medical intervention. This process will begin naturally, usually within a week of stopping your medications. A natural miscarriage is completed at home and generally includes period-like cramping, some of which may be severe, and bleeding. 

Once you pass the tissue, you will see a doctor to monitor your hormone levels as they naturally lower to a non-pregnancy level. The doctor will also monitor your bleeding levels to ensure that your body dispelled all of the internal tissue appropriately. In the instance that this does not happen or you experience excessive bleeding, you may need to undergo a D&C procedure to complete the clearing of the uterus. Many women choose this natural method as a way to have closure of the end of an intended pregnancy.

D&C PROCEDURE FOR MISCARRIAGE

Occasionally, depending on how many weeks into the pregnancy you were when the fetus stopped growing, you will not have the option of a natural miscarriage. If you choose to have a D&C procedure or it is medically recommended, you will generally be scheduled very quickly after stopping your medications. The procedure is done by a medical professional either in their office, or in some cases, in the outpatient surgery center of your local hospital. While the procedure is medically coded as minor surgery, it is very common and routine for most OB-GYNs. Patients are usually put under general anesthesia so that they will comfortably sleep through the procedure.

PROCEDURE DETAILS

The procedure consists of your doctor using a device to dilate your cervical opening, and then using a sharp instrument, such as a scalpel, or suction to clean out the tissue inside your uterus. The entire process takes under a half-hour, and you will be discharged roughly 2 hours following the procedure. 

RECOVERY

Typical recovery can include light cramping and bleeding, and you’ll generally follow up with your doctor 2 weeks after the procedure. Learn what to expect with your first menstrual cycle after a D&C procedure in our related blog post.

RISKS

You should note that this procedure does carry potential risks, including scarring of the uterus that may make future pregnancies more difficult. Even so, many women elect to complete a D&C to provide quicker closure and swifter recovery. You will be compensated if you choose to have this invasive procedure.

Choosing the best method for you involves many variables. While this is a personal choice, your case specialist, medical nurse, and physician are always ready and willing to help you sort through the decision-making process. Feel free to contact Growing Generations.

Nearly all surrogates will be placed on “pelvic rest” for at least part of their surrogacy journey. Although it is a common requirement, this instruction can be a source of confusion and uncertainty for many surrogates. To clarify expectations, let's explore what pelvic rest means, when it is necessary, how long it generally lasts, and what it means for you and your surrogacy journey. 

WHAT IS PELVIC REST?

In simplest terms, pelvic rest means that you are to abstain from sexual intercourse, orgasms (even those achieved by external methods), and insertion of anything into the vagina with the exception of medications. Do note that pelvic rest in pregnancy is not the same as bed rest.

PELVIC REST VS. BED REST FOR PREGNANCY

Bed rest typically means staying in bed except to bathe and use the bathroom. Being on pelvic rest means you can do all of your normal day-to-day activities; you just want to be careful to avoid straining the pelvic area or having penetrative sex. You can talk to your doctor about what type of sexual relations you may still be able to engage in if you wish.

You may be placed on rest following the embryo transfer, usually for a 24-hour period. You could also be placed on bed rest or pelvic rest later in the pregnancy, to ensure that you reach the 35-week gestation mark before delivery. This type of rest means to simply relax and rest. While using the restroom and sitting upright to eat are OK, lifting more than 10 pounds or exercising are generally to be avoided. Your physician will discuss any restrictions with you.

WHEN IS PELVIC REST NECESSARY?

Pelvic rest will usually begin the day of your embryo transfer and will not end until your doctor clears you for normal sexual activity. This means that, just as every pregnancy is different, there will be a great varying of release times from pelvic rest. All surrogates are asked to maintain pelvic rest for at least four weeks. While some surrogates may be released as soon as heartbeat confirmation, others may be asked to continue pelvic rest longer, sometimes through the course of the entire first trimester. This variation can be caused by several reasons, including the following:

• Light bleeding

• Concerns over implantation

• Varying medical protocols

• Conduct preferences of the intended parents

Because of these varying reasons, it is important that you do not follow guidelines given to any other surrogate or even given to you in another pregnancy or surrogacy. This pregnancy is unique to you, and the medical protocol will be adjusted uniquely to your current situation. 

LEARN MORE ABOUT PELVIC REST RESTRICTIONS

If you have any questions about being released from pelvic rest or what allowances you may have, be sure to ask your individual nurse or care provider. They will have the best, most up-to-date information from your medical notes and will be able to provide you with the most personalized answer that ensures the best probability of success for your journey.

As a premier surrogacy agency, Growing Generations is honored to support surrogates throughout their journey to make the experience as enriching as possible. For more information about surrogacy, please reach out to us.