Bleeding during pregnancy can be incredibly scary. Bleeding while in a surrogate IVF pregnancy can be doubly worrisome as so much care has already been taken to attain the pregnancy. 

IS BLEEDING NORMAL DURING IVF PREGNANCY?

Pregnancies achieved through IVF often have a higher rate of bleeding than a conventional pregnancy. Roughly 40% of women carrying an IVF pregnancy will experience bleeding. The elevated instance of bleeding could be attributed to a number of factors, including more vaginal exams and the medications being taken to increase blood flow. This type of bleeding can range from light pink to dark brown and everything from light spotting to menstrual-like flow. 

IVF PREGNANCY AND BLEEDING: POTENTIAL CAUSES

The first thing to realize is that many women experience bleeding in pregnancy and continue to have perfectly healthy pregnancies. Women often assume that the appearance of blood means an inevitable miscarriage is looming. Contrary to that misconception, there are several reasons a woman might experience bleeding during pregnancy, and not all of them are bad. Common causes for bleeding in pregnancy include: 

Implantation Bleeding 

Implantation bleeding or spotting after an IVF cycle is common. Light bleeding or spotting is often the first sign of pregnancy, or may be a side effect of hormone medications.

Sub-chorionic Hemorrhage/Hematoma

Most hematomas heal on their own and are not a reason for concern because they are small or cause light bleeding. Your doctor likely will perform an ultrasound to assess the size and location of the hematoma and determine if any treatment is necessary. Heavier bleeding should be monitored.

Vaginal Infection

Very common in early pregnancy, vaginal infections are treatable. Common diagnoses include both yeast and urinary tract infections.

Irritation From Intercourse

Other times, bleeding may be present that is unexplained by any obvious cause. Sometimes, the bleeding is indeed a sign of a troubled pregnancy.

WHAT IF I EXPERIENCE BLEEDING AT 4, 6, OR 8 WEEKS? 

Bleeding farther along in your pregnancy can be unsettling. Call or email your case specialist and nurse representative right away. If you begin bleeding at 4 weeks, it's important to remain calm and monitor the amount and duration of bleeding. As the pregnancy progresses, bleeding can trigger concern. At 6 weeks, bleeding accompanied by severe pain requires immediate attention. If you notice any bleeding at 8 weeks, you should contact your doctor and avoid any strenuous activities.

We're here with you every step of the way. Contact Growing Generations to learn more about surrogacy.

As the birth of your baby draws near you may begin to wonder how the relationship you’ve built with your surrogate will change after delivery. The first thing you should know is that the relationship will change. That’s normal. You should also know that no matter how it changes, those changes are okay.

It’s entirely up to you how much access you allow the surrogate and her family to have to you and your baby from now on. Some parents will develop deep friendships with their surrogate and stay in contact with her for years to come. Other parents prefer a blunt separation at the time of birth. Both options are acceptable. In either case, perhaps the best way to say ‘thank you’ is to consider allowing your surrogate the chance to have proper closure.

Understand that just as your entire world changes the instant the baby is born, your surrogate’s world makes a dramatic change as well. In the blink of an eye she goes from being a key player in your family creating world, to an often over looked spectator. Compound this sudden change with the hormone surge that accompanies child birth and you may begin to understand why she is crying and feeling a lot of big emotions all at once. Big emotions and big tears are typical.

Surrogates are not adoptive mothers. They have no biological or maternal emotional link to your child. Your surrogate is not grieving the loss of a child, in fact she’s likely on an emotional high, just like you. Despite this, nearly all surrogates crave a sense of closure and the opportunity to say goodbye to the baby, to her surrogate experience and, potentially, to you.

Take some time aside from the excitement and joy of that precious bundle to ask your surrogate how she’s feeling. Tell her how appreciative you are of the gift she has just given you. Also, allowing her to be a part of the process while in the hospital will go a long way in helping her get that much needed and desired closure.

Small things like sitting with her for lunch, allowing her to give the baby a bottle, talking with her about how the baby is sleeping; these things may seem small and inconsequential to you but when it comes to your surrogate, these small inclusions can mean more than you’ll ever know.

If you’re comfortable, consider allowing your surrogate some access to the new baby. Many surrogates will want to snap a quick photo of themselves with the baby, or maybe with you and the baby, even of their own children with the baby. They may also want to hold the baby.

Even so, many surrogates will not ask for these closure giving photos or cuddles out of fear that you may think she’s changing her mind, or feels attached to your baby. Keep in mind that any access or time you allow your surrogate to spend with your baby will always be in your presence. Your offering to take the picture or to let her hold the baby takes the stress of asking for access away from her, and can feel like the biggest relief in the world. Again, small gestures that show big appreciation.

A healthy dose of empathy and you will navigate the closure of your surrogacy and transition to parenthood with ease. If you ever need help relating or communicating with your surrogate during these coming weeks, don’t be afraid to reach out to your case specialist.

Since most of our egg donors come to us on some form of birth control, we're often asked whether you can donate eggs with an IUD or other form of birth control. Having prospective egg donors on birth control is normal and expected and, most times, has no impact on your egg donation journey. However, certain methods of birth control can cause your donation journey to slow down. 

Here’s a look at what those birth control methods include and why they’ll cause us to hit “pause” on your journey.

DEPO-PROVERA

More commonly referred to as “the shot,” Depo-Provera delays the egg donation process for a period of six months. If you are on the shot, we will ask you to discontinue use and contact us again in six months. The first six months following discontinuation have been shown to lead to a lower fertility return. We want to make sure there is ample time for all of the medication to exit your system before attempting to stimulate your body to produce a large number of eggs. You will need to have regular and normal menstrual cycles before we’re able to move forward.

NORPLANT/IMPLANON

Commonly called implants, this form of birth control slowly releases progestin into your bloodstream to prevent your ovaries from releasing eggs. It's effective for about 3 years. Some clinics may require you to have the implant removed and have one or two normal periods prior to starting the donation process.

HORMONAL IUD

There are two types of intrauterine devices used to prevent pregnancy. The first, Paraguard or other copper based products, may be left in place during the entire donation process. The second option is a hormone based IUD, commonly the Mirena. Some clinics may require the hormonal IUD to be removed prior to starting the donation process. 

Timing your egg donation journey and planning to stop birth control takes some forethought. You can read our egg donation timeline post for a summary of the process. If you have additional questions about your method of birth control and how it will impact your donation, talk about your concerns with your admissions specialist.

If you are interested in becoming an egg donor with Growing Generations apply online.

It’s a question we hear often, and it’s not surprising either. Our surrogates are motivated to become surrogates for a great many reasons, but nearly all of them tell us, they become surrogates out of altruistic origins. They want to give the gift of family to someone who is unable to do this for themselves. They often feel as though if they are able to help someone, they should. The goal of this journey is building your family and giving you a child.

Every single Growing Generations surrogate is a mother, and in some cases done growing her own family. This means she has already gone through pregnancy and birth, and she understands just how special babies are and how important family is.

Gestational surrogates, sometimes called gestational carriers, bear no genetic link to the child they are carrying. This lack of biological connection also contributes to a lack of an emotional maternal link to the child. Dr. Kim Bergman explains, “Surrogates see themselves as basically babysitting your baby, inside their body. They are crystal clear that the baby they are carrying is not theirs and can’t wait to see you holding your baby at the end of the journey”. As the process moves forward, a sense of pride, self-worth, and accomplishment begins to grow in these women. They are intensely proud of the choices they've made to help you grow your family.

Surrogates also realize that surrogacy can be financially helpful to their families. Many use the compensation from the surrogacy to start their own business, go back to school, put a down payment on a home, or pay off debt. This compensation opens doors for them that may have otherwise remained closed. As a result, these women are often as grateful to you as you are to them.

When you pair the desire to help others, pride, lack of genetic and emotional connection to your child, and financial compensation, it becomes easy to understand how surrogates quite easily and naturally send your baby home with you at the end of the journey. Surrogates respect family and life, they’re on your team by choice, and they want to work with you towards your goal of having a family.

In nearly 30 years of operation, Growing Generations has never had a surrogate change her mind, talk about changing her mind, or need to be talked out of changing her mind, never, not once. This is due in part because of our extremely thorough psychological and medical screening process and because the women who become surrogates are serious about helping someone else have a family.

Human pregnancies are counted in weeks, with 40 weeks being considered full term. Many people don’t realize that when using IVF, you don’t begin counting those 40 weeks on the day you transfer the embryo into your uterus. Gestation is determined by the age of the egg as opposed to the time spent carrying it. In this way, you are transferring an embryo into your uterus that already has an age assigned to it. 

In a traditional pregnancy, gestational age begins accumulating on the last day of your menstrual period. By the time conception occurs, the gestational age is already somewhere around two weeks. Therefore, gestational age in IVF, and by virtue in surrogacy, begins accumulating well before transfer.  

HOW OLD IS AN EMBRYO WHEN IMPLANTED WITH IVF?

The nature of IVF allows for more specific date stamping. In these instances, the exact date of ovulation, fertilization, and conception are known. This adds up to a clearer picture of gestational age. Here are 2 examples:

• Transferring a 3-day embryo will leave you 2 weeks and 3 days pregnant as you leave the office. 

• A 5-day embryo is equivalent to a gestational age of 2 weeks and 5 days. 

At the close of the 2-week wait between transfer and beta pregnancy test, you could be up to 5 weeks pregnant, depending on the age of your embryo at transfer. (You can learn more about an embryo's development before and after transfer in our related blog post.)

WHEN IS MY DUE DATE WITH IVF?

Due dates for surrogates are determined based on the individual circumstances of the baby and mother. As you may have guessed, calculating your due date requires a slightly different approach when you've conceived via IVF compared to a spontaneous pregnancy. With IVF, the estimated date of your baby's arrival will be based on your embryo transfer date.

CALCULATING YOUR GESTATIONAL DUE DATE

Calculating gestational age and due date in IVF can be confusing. A number of terrific online calculators are available to help you get an accurate age and due date. More reliably, your case specialist or nurse should also be able to help you nail down a specific date and gestational age. 

DETERMINING IVF GESTATIONAL AGE & DUE DATE

An exact gestational age and estimated due date will be determined at the first ultrasound based on the size of the gestational sac and the fetus inside. Multiple pregnancies are more common in IVF. These pregnancies are often delivered before 40 weeks gestation.

Contact Growing Generations for more information.

The distance between your home and your surrogate’s home is often very large and can present a bit of a challenge when it comes to bonding with your surrogate baby in utero. Despite the distance, many intended parents still desire to form a bond with their unborn child. 

HOW TO CONNECT WITH YOUR BABY IN THE WOMB

The good news is that there are many ways to form a connection across the miles, it just takes is a little creativity! Here are some bonding options that can help you get to know your growing baby.

SOUND

Perhaps the easiest way to introduce your child to you is through the sound of your voice. Research continues to show that fetuses are able to hear voices (and music) from the outside world while inside of the womb and will often recognize those voices after birth. 

Products such as “Belly Buds” allow intended parents to record their voices from one location and then send them to another standard audio device located anywhere in the world. The surrogate then places “ear buds” on her belly and plays your recording. Using products like this you will be able to read, sing, or simply talk to your growing baby. This can help your baby to recognize the sound of your voice at the time of birth.

WORDS

Consider writing letters to your unborn baby or keeping a journal for the child. List how you’re feeling through each stage and practice talking to your child. Getting into the habit of communicating with your child now can help create a feeling of familiarity at birth. You can also send your letters to your surrogate and ask that she read them to the baby. Even if you keep these thoughts just for yourself, you can begin to build a relationship with the baby by this routine act of communication.

PREFERENCES

Perhaps your baby gets very active every time your surrogate eats peanut butter. Maybe it’s Cheerios cereal that gets your little one moving. Is your future child a night owl or an early bird? Try asking your surrogate about your baby’s food preferences and times of activity. Then try mirroring those preferences. Try eating the foods that your little one likes and being active when they are most awake. You could be getting an early look into their sleep schedule and personality!

INSTINCTS

Many women will tell you that they had an inkling into their newborn’s personality before the baby was ever born. Will the baby be peaceful or antsy? Will he sleep soundly or lightly? 

Talking with your surrogate about any suspicions she has about your baby’s personality could offer insight into their personalities, even if it is just a guess and far from scientific. Even if your surrogate’s guesses wind up completely wrong, you can still have fun imagining the baby’s personality this way. (Learn more about building a strong relationship with your surrogate to facilitate these types of interactions in our related blog post.)

THE JOY OF BONDING WITH BABY

However you choose to form a bond with your growing baby, have fun with it! Pregnancy is an exciting and brief time in the grand scheme of parenthood, and enjoying every moment will help create a bond all of its own.

GETTING STARTED

If you haven't yet started your surrogacy journey to parenthood, we welcome getting to know you. You can get started by completing our intended parent application form.