The choice of when to share your IVF pregnancy announcement with those around you is a moment so many parents-to-be dream about for years. When you’re becoming a parent through surrogacy, sometimes this announcement takes on new levels of planning. 

Intended parents may also feel nervous or stressed about sharing their baby news because they aren't sure how others around them will react. There are a few different approaches intended parents take when sharing their big news.

ANNOUNCING IVF PREGNANCY EARLY

It can be hard to keep such happy news a secret, especially when the road to pregnancy for most intended parents has been such a long one. Some intended parents feel that sharing the news of a positive pregnancy test early allows friends and family to share in their initial excitement and provides them with support and empathy from those around them.

WAITING UNTIL AFTER THE FIRST TRIMESTER TO MAKE YOUR IVF BABY ANNOUNCEMENT

Many intended parents wait until the 12th week of pregnancy to share their pregnancy news, as the rate of miscarriage drops dramatically from this point on. Many parents-to-be may also wait until after the first-trimester screening (or further testing with amniocentesis) is complete. Intended parents in this category generally feel as though withholding the news of a pregnancy until it appears to be viable provides them a safety net in the unfortunate event of a first-trimester miscarriage.

SHARING BABY NEWS IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER OR AFTER BIRTH

Finally, some parents choose to wait to share the news of their pregnancy until late in the third trimester or even until after the birth. This choice is made for a variety of personal reasons, and a late reveal is an option uniquely available to parents through surrogacy.

What is important to remember is that there is no singular “right” time to share your pregnancy news. The right time for one parent may not be ideal at all for another. You’ll need to balance your desires for privacy, support, and inclusion as you decide when you want to share. This announcement is just the first of many new decisions you’ll need to make from the heart.

Growing Generations is here to support you throughout your family-building journey. To get started, fill out our intended parent application or reach out to us online. 

Nearly all surrogates will be placed on “pelvic rest” for at least part of their surrogacy journey. Although it is a common requirement, this instruction can be a source of confusion and uncertainty for many surrogates. To clarify expectations, let's explore what pelvic rest means, when it is necessary, how long it generally lasts, and what it means for you and your surrogacy journey. 

WHAT IS PELVIC REST?

In simplest terms, pelvic rest means that you are to abstain from sexual intercourse, orgasms (even those achieved by external methods), and insertion of anything into the vagina with the exception of medications. Do note that pelvic rest in pregnancy is not the same as bed rest.

PELVIC REST VS. BED REST FOR PREGNANCY

Bed rest typically means staying in bed except to bathe and use the bathroom. Being on pelvic rest means you can do all of your normal day-to-day activities; you just want to be careful to avoid straining the pelvic area or having penetrative sex. You can talk to your doctor about what type of sexual relations you may still be able to engage in if you wish.

You may be placed on rest following the embryo transfer, usually for a 24-hour period. You could also be placed on bed rest or pelvic rest later in the pregnancy, to ensure that you reach the 35-week gestation mark before delivery. This type of rest means to simply relax and rest. While using the restroom and sitting upright to eat are OK, lifting more than 10 pounds or exercising are generally to be avoided. Your physician will discuss any restrictions with you.

WHEN IS PELVIC REST NECESSARY?

Pelvic rest will usually begin the day of your embryo transfer and will not end until your doctor clears you for normal sexual activity. This means that, just as every pregnancy is different, there will be a great varying of release times from pelvic rest. All surrogates are asked to maintain pelvic rest for at least four weeks. While some surrogates may be released as soon as heartbeat confirmation, others may be asked to continue pelvic rest longer, sometimes through the course of the entire first trimester. This variation can be caused by several reasons, including the following:

• Light bleeding

• Concerns over implantation

• Varying medical protocols

• Conduct preferences of the intended parents

Because of these varying reasons, it is important that you do not follow guidelines given to any other surrogate or even given to you in another pregnancy or surrogacy. This pregnancy is unique to you, and the medical protocol will be adjusted uniquely to your current situation. 

LEARN MORE ABOUT PELVIC REST RESTRICTIONS

If you have any questions about being released from pelvic rest or what allowances you may have, be sure to ask your individual nurse or care provider. They will have the best, most up-to-date information from your medical notes and will be able to provide you with the most personalized answer that ensures the best probability of success for your journey.

As a premier surrogacy agency, Growing Generations is honored to support surrogates throughout their journey to make the experience as enriching as possible. For more information about surrogacy, please reach out to us.

The time following a miscarriage or D&C (dilation and curettage) can be both physically and emotionally challenging, and many surrogates wonder when their menstrual cycle will return following either a miscarriage or D&C. Attuning yourself to your body’s health and response over the next several weeks helps you understand how you are recovering and what your next steps in surrogacy will be. 

HOW LONG DOES INITIAL BLEEDING LAST AFTER A MISCARRIAGE?

You will typically experience a slow bleed for up to a week following the miscarriage or procedure. Typically, bleeding stops once your human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) levels have returned to zero. Doctors will generally monitor your blood hormone levels to ensure that your hCG levels return to zero on their own.

HOW SOON AFTER MISCARRIAGE OR D&C DO YOU GET YOUR PERIOD?

Your first period will generally return within four weeks of your hCG levels returning to zero. However, it is not uncommon for some women to experience prolonged return to ovulation and menses, which can last up to eight weeks. 

WHEN WILL OVULATION RESUME?

In many cases, ovulation will not occur during your first cycle, as your body is still recovering. In most cases, your IVF doctor will wait for you to experience one or two cycles before starting medications for a repeat medical cycle and transfer. During this time, your cervix will remain soft and open, which may make intercourse painful.

WHEN TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT EXTENDED BLEEDING AFTER A MISCARRIAGE

In the cases of a natural miscarriage especially, you’ll want to pay special attention to how long your initial bleed lasts and how frequently you experience a recurrence of bleeding. In these cases, it is possible that some tissue may have been retained in the uterus and is preventing your body from healing. If you continue to experience light spotting over an extended time, it could be possible that your body is having trouble returning to regular hormone levels. You will want to speak with your doctor if you experience any case of extended bleeding.

PROLONGED ABSENCE OF MENSES (NO PERIOD AFTER MISCARRIAGE)

A prolonged return of menstruation is not normal. While it can take up to eight weeks for your body to properly recover and return to having regular cycles, some women will experience an even longer delay. This is typically experienced after a D&C as opposed to a natural miscarriage and may indicate the presence of new scar tissue or fibroids inside of the uterus. If you have not experienced a menstrual bleed by 10 weeks following the miscarriage or procedure, it is important that you notify your doctor.

At Growing Generations, we are here for you every step of the way. Contact Growing Generations to learn more.

There have been multiple studies in recent years highlighting the importance of immediate and continued skin-to-skin contact in newborns. Skin-to-skin contact is your first opportunity to embrace your new child, and doctors say these first cuddles are as enjoyable as they are beneficial. Doctors note both physical and emotional benefits from the contact.

WHAT IS SKIN-T0-SKIN CONTACT?

Skin to skin contact is defined as placing a naked baby, not one wrapped in a blanket, to your bared chest.

Most researchers recommend that this be done as soon as possibly following delivery. Many hospitals will now even clean the newborn and cut the cord while skin-to-skin contact is happening.

Physically, the contact often allows the newborn to transition from fetal phase to newborn with less observed stress. The contact can equalize their temperature more quickly and with less effort as well as help the newborn manage respiratory transitions and glucose stability. Also, if you and your surrogte comfortable allowing her some skin-to-skin time, research shows that the newborn will be able to colonize the same bacteria as the surrogate. If a newborn is placed into an incubator, colonization will still occur, but it will differ from the bacteria present in the surrogate. Bacteria colonization is one of the key elements shown to reduce instances of allergic diseases forming.

EMOTIONAL BENEFITS OF SKIN-TO-SKIN CONTACT

There are noted emotional benefits to skin-to-skin interaction as well. Often these newborns display less violent crying, suggesting that they are under less stress and anxiety during their first moments of life. As the days and weeks move forward, your newborn will learn to mirror your steady breathing during skin-to-skin contact, promoting calm and content behavior. Additionally, prolonged skin-to-skin interaction has been shown to lead to babies and toddlers with less separation anxiety and better self-regulation over time.

Research shows most benefits come from skin-to-skin contact during the first hour and continue for the first 24 hours. Unless medical restrictions cause you to need to be separated, this is a great time to begin bonding with and cuddling your newborn.

SKIN-TO-SKIN CONTACT FOR SURROGATES

Having a surrogate birth does not need to complicate your desires to engage in immediate and prolonged skin-to-skin contact following birth. However, it does mean you need to be more deliberate with your planning. If you plan to do skin-to-skin, make sure you wear clothing that enables ease of contact. Plan to wear (or pack) button up shirts, and intended mothers can also bring additional blankets or sweaters to provide any desired modesty.

It is a good idea to share your plan with your nurse well in advance of the birth so they can make arrangements to encourage skin-to-skin interaction during the first moments of life. Things like not automatically swaddling the newborn after initial weighing & measuring and doing initial cleaning and cord cutting on the surrogate’s chest may be contrary to the hospital’s typical routine, but should not be considered impossible.

Contact us if you want more information about becoming a surrogate.

One of the tests that you’ll have completed during your journey is a Vitamin D screening. This screening, completed by a simple blood test, is something that you’ll do in your own hometown (or at least close by) prior to being flown to California for your in-person screenings. If your results come back low, you may be asked to add a supplement to your diet.

Vitamin D, more commonly known as the sunshine vitamin, is essential in pregnancy and critical to IVF success. Studies show a link between proper Vitamin D levels and IVF success. Not only will egg donors with proper Vitamin D levels produce better quality embryos, but surrogates who have ideal Vitamin D levels are more likely to have a transfer result in an implanted embryo (positive pregnancy result) than those with a Vitamin D deficiency.

In fact, studies have shown that women attempting to become pregnant through IVF who maintain ideal Vitamin D levels are twice as likely to become pregnant than women who are Vitamin D deficient.

Once pregnant, having adequate levels of vitamin D will benefit the developing fetus and help you maintain your bone density during the pregnancy. It also helps ensure that your immune system is performing at top notch to keep you feeling as good as possible throughout the pregnancy.

Studies have shown several scary potential side effects of pregnancies completed when Vitamin D levels are not adequate. Infants can be born with low birth weights, occasionally leading to poor skeletal development and immune system problems throughout their lives. For you, a pregnancy completed without proper Vitamin D levels could mean poor calcium absorption and a greater stress on your own bone reserves. You could be more prone to break a bone both during and after the pregnancy.

Some women are more prone to low vitamin D levels than others. Women with darker skin tones and those who are more likely to have their skin covered while outside (due either to style choices or inclement weather) tend to have lower Vitamin D levels.

In general, most doctors consider a Vitamin D level of 20 ng/ml to be sufficient for daily life but recommend a level no lower than 30 ng/ml for optimal IVF and pregnancy benefits. If your levels fall below the minimum requirement of 30 ng/ml, you will likely be asked to introduce a supplement to your diet, wait a period of time, and then complete a second Vitamin D screening before moving forward towards an embryo transfer. If your levels are significantly too low, you may be asked to follow-up with your family doctor to try and pinpoint the low levels and correct any underlying issues. Occasionally this comes with an injection of Vitamin D.

Once a repeat blood test indicates that you’ve hit the minimum barrier for IVF success, we can prepare your in-person screening.

The choice to become a surrogate is overwhelmingly exciting! It’s not unusual to be very excited to share your news with your friends and family. In fact, the choice to become a surrogate is rarely one that you can keep 100% secret, as you’ll find that you may need to rely on friends or family as early as the screening phase, since you’re likely to need a babysitter for your screening process.

So, once you’re accepted and matched into our program, how do you know when it’s the best time to share your news with the world? Since it’s probably not ideal or realistic to wait until the birth to share your pregnancy news, you have two simple time frames to choose between. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

EARLY ANNOUNCERS

Most surrogates will choose to go public with their news well before they’re pregnant. This can be beneficial for many reasons. First, it allows the people closest to you the luxury of time. They’ll be able to thoughtfully consider the incredible gift that you’re giving, and they'll have time to come up with any questions they may have for you about the process. You’ll also be able to gather support for the time that you’re on hormone therapy, and it can be helpful if those around you understand why your mood may be a bit off during this time.

MID-PREGNANCY PLANNERS

Other surrogates choose to wait until about halfway through their pregnancy to share the news of their surrogacy. This allows them some privacy from invasive questions and safeguards them against having to tell friends or family about a potential early pregnancy loss. By waiting until the midway point of your pregnancy, you ensure a bit of peace and privacy for your family.

When it comes to telling your boss, delayed sharing allows you to keep the secret a bit longer in the sad possibility of an early miscarriage. Some women also feel as though their bosses would not allow time away from work for important surrogacy appointments or procedures. If this is your situation, feel confident knowing you are not required to tell your boss why you’re missing work for medically related absences.

As for your children, a handful of variables will come into play. Things like your children’s ages, maturity levels, and general awareness all play into choosing when it is best to tell them your surrogacy plans. Here’s a more in-depth look at that decision-making process.

A WORD ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Social media is never secret. Even if your social media accounts have the highest level of security, you’ll find that word can travel pretty quickly. The whole premise of social networking is that it makes it easy to follow the lives of friends and family without direct interaction. We mention this as a reminder that if you’re not ready for your boss, your brother, or your book club to know your news, it’s probably not the time to talk about it on social media.