Packing your bag for the hospital can be just as stressful for intended parents as it can be for surrogates. In many cases, this is the intended parent’s first trip to the hospital for childbirth. It is important to feel comfortable and prepared on your big day, but packing your hospital bag can leave you feeling a bit perplexed over what items are most important to take.

It may make things easier if you break your packing down into two subgroups: labor & delivery, and recovery.

Labor & Delivery:

• Paperwork: While it is generally the surrogate’s responsibility to bring all of her medical and legal paperwork with her to the hospital, she may be incredibly distracted during labor and forget to grab it. For this reason, it is often a good idea to have copies of your birth plan, parentage order, and surrogacy agreement (contract) packed in your bag. While most hospitals will not ask to see these documents, knowing that you have them at your fingertips can provide you a great deal of peace.

• Entertainment: This part of the process can be very quick, or incredibly slow. It is impossible to predict how much time you will spend waiting for delivery. For this reason, you may want to pack items that will help you pass the time. Many intended parents pack a book, a laptop for movie viewing or work, a small craft project, or crossword puzzle. Also, if your surrogate is OK with being photographed or filmed, make sure to pack a camera as well.

• Snacks: Because the labor & delivery timeframe is so uncertain, it might be a good idea to pack snacks in your bag so that you don’t have to step away. However, if you’re in the laboring room with your surrogate, do consider asking her permission before enjoying a snack. Laboring women can be extremely sensitive to smells, and they are not permitted to eat during the labor process. Asking permission is a courtesy that will be very appreciated.

• Attire: Skin-to-skin contact is becoming a more regularly encouraged practice in the moments to hours following delivery of your child. Science shows that it can help the child regulate both temperature and breathing patterns while also allowing you some immediate bonding. For this reason, we encourage you to wear, or pack, a front-buttoning shirt and perhaps a blanket for modesty. This allows you to expose your chest for those first cuddles as quickly as possible.

Recovery:

• Most hospitals require at least a 24-hour stay for your child following the birth. Do note that, because this is a surrogacy arrangement, your surrogate may be discharged before or after your child. This is completely normal and is no cause for concern.

• Comfort Items: Growing Generations will work with your delivering hospital as closely as possible to try and secure separate recovery rooms for your surrogate and yourself. This not only allows you the ability to bond with the baby more closely, it allows her peace and quiet so she can rest. However, in the event that the hospital is crowded or this is not possible, you should plan on bringing items with you that could make you more comfortable with sharing a recovery room with your surrogate. Slippers, pillows, socks, and comfortable clothing will help.

• Toiletries: In most cases, you will need to stay at least one additional night in the hospital. For this reason, it is important to pack your overnight toiletries. Items such as a toothbrush, toothpaste, contact lens solution, and glasses will help make your stay a comfortable one.

• Camera: Finally, don’t forget to pack your camera! You’ve waited a long time for this moment, and it’s one you’re going to want to remember! Enjoy your first few days with your new baby and don’t forget to take a lot of pictures!

Toxemia, pre-eclampsia, eclampsia, & HELLP syndrome are all very serious diagnoses that can happen to a woman in pregnancy. In general, these conditions are all varying degrees of the same problem, centered around high blood pressure in pregnancy. While we hope that you’ll never be faced with any of these complications of pregnancy during your surrogacy journey, it is helpful to understand the differences of toxemia vs. preeclampsia and similar complications.

TOXEMIA

Toxemia is a condition that can occur both during and after pregnancy. In the most general of terms, toxemia means pregnancy-induced hypertension or high blood pressure. Occurring in roughly 7% of pregnant women, this condition can vary in severity. The condition can begin as early as when the placenta begins to form, affecting people who are pregnant for the first time more frequently than those who have previously experienced pregnancy. Symptoms include protein in the urine and bloating in the face, hands, or feet. With proper detection and an increase in rest, this condition can generally be controlled with little risk to the carrier or fetus. However, if left untreated, it can develop into pre-eclampsia. 

PRE-ECLAMPSIA

This is a condition that exists only during pregnancy and is generally linked to gestational hypertension, protein in the urine, and increased swelling. The only cure is delivery of the fetus. The severity of the condition can be wide ranging. 

Treatment will vary based on the gestational age of the fetus and severity of the pre-eclampsia. In some cases, all that may be needed is bed rest and an increase in fluid intake. In other cases, an immediate delivery may be required. 

If not treated, pre-eclampsia can lead to eclampsia, renal failure, or death to the carrier. Risks to the fetus included diminished oxygen and food supply from the placenta, often resulting in low birth weight. While this condition can happen to any pregnant woman, it tends to affect women who are under 20, over 40, have a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or higher, or who are carrying multiples more frequently. This condition is expected to appear in roughly 5% to 8% of all pregnancies. 

ECLAMPSIA

Eclampsia has many of the same markers as pre-eclampsia and is generally recognized as the same disorder. However, eclampsia is the more serious of the two conditions. While many of the risks to the person who is pregnant and baby remain the same, eclampsia also carries the risk of seizures. When someone is diagnosed with eclampsia, it is best to deliver all babies as soon as possible, regardless of gestational age. Generally the baby will be delivered via Cesarean section once the surrogate’s medical condition has been stabilized.

HELLP SYNDROME

HELLP syndrome is a life-threatening condition believed by many to be a complication of pre-eclampsia/eclampsia. It can pop up before and after childbirth. The condition gets its name from the common indications of its presentation: 

• Hemolysis (red blood cell destruction)

• Elevated liver enzymes

• Low platelet count

While some patients are already being monitored for an eclamptic condition, many others will not appear to be in distress, exhibiting only minor symptoms including increased heartburn, headache, and nausea/vomiting. 

HELLP Syndrome is more rare than pre-eclampsia, estimated to occur in less than 1% of pregnancies. However, according to the American Pregnancy Association, 4% to 12% of women with pre-eclampsia will go on to develop HELLP. 

Because this syndrome is rare and often mimics pre-eclampsia, it is often misdiagnosed. Blood tests are necessary to confirm the diagnosis. Treatment includes bed rest, blood pressure medication, magnesium medication to prevent seizures, and potential blood transfusions. Following a diagnosis of HELLP Syndrome, a swift delivery is often recommended. 

Growing Generations is a premier surrogacy agency providing attentive, concierge-level services to intended parents, surrogates, and egg donors. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, contact us online or complete our surrogate application.

Choosing how to feed your newborn is an important decision for every parent. Whether you hope to provide breast milk for your newborn or you’ve decided that formula is a better fit, there is no “right or wrong” answer. 

For parents through surrogacy and the surrogates who help them, the decision to receive and provide breast milk must be made as a team. One that depends, in part, on a surrogate’s familiarity and comfort level with breastfeeding and/or pumping. 

At Growing Generations, we know there’s a lot to consider on the topic. That’s why we decided to get firsthand perspectives from a few of our experienced surrogates through a casual conversation about the decision-making process, helpful preparations, complications, and much more.

BREASTMILK FOR SURROGATE BABIES: MAKING THE DECISION

For some surrogates, the choice to pump for their intended parents was an easy one. Knowing how passionately they felt about wanting breast milk for their own babies, they understood the personal desire their intended parents would potentially have. For others, they know that pumping breast milk will not reasonably fit into their lifestyle, they experienced challenges when breastfeeding their own children, or perhaps they aren’t sure but are willing to give it a try. Pumping takes up a lot of time, energy, and commitment, making it essential to think through the process and prepare for it in advance.

PREPARING TO PUMP

So, you’ve decided to pump, how should you prepare? 

• Kelly, a three-time surrogate with Growing Generations, made sure to have her breast shields, nursing bras, and a hospital-grade pump ready to go. 

• Jodie, a two-time surrogate, did her best to load up on shields with different nipple sizes because she knew that nipple size can change after giving birth. 

These are wonderful ways to prepare for pumping after birth, but sometimes complications arise that a surrogate isn’t prepared for. Although Jodie was thoroughly prepared for her pumping journey after giving birth, she, unfortunately, ended up developing mastitis (an infection of a clogged milk duct). This can cause a lot of pain and frustration when trying to pump, so her journey was not as smooth as she anticipated. Even though her doctor recommended she quit pumping during her first journey, it didn’t stop her from trying again (and succeeding) her second time around.

Connie, who is also a two-time surrogate with Growing Generations, experienced quite a lot of difficulty with one of her journeys. She had a difficult delivery and pumping right after giving birth seemed almost impossible. Instead, she did the best thing she could’ve possibly done in the given situation: She stayed patient with the complications and gave herself grace. She knew her milk would naturally come in a few days later without having to push her body too hard by attempting to pump right away, ultimately letting her body rest when it needed it the most.

TO LATCH OR NOT TO LATCH: IS BREASTFEDING RIGHT FOR THE SURROGATE AND INTENDED PARENTS?

Another decision that may be made between surrogates and intended parents, is whether the parents would like the baby to directly latch onto the breast to feed. This, of course, is another group decision, and it's an important part of your post-birth relationship. It is very important for both parties to be completely comfortable with the idea of the surrogate breastfeeding before proceeding. 

One common concern for surrogates and intended parents is that directly breastfeeding the baby could create a bond that was not felt during pregnancy. This was something Kelly considered in her first journey, but when she and her intended parents made the decision to try it out, she described the feeling as “feeding a friend’s kid,” and she felt no attachment. Although Kelly didn’t experience the feeling of a bond being formed while feeding, her feelings about the process were openly expressed.

TRANSITIONING HOME: SHIPPING BREASTMILK FOR SURROGATE BABIES

The length of time intended parents want to receive breast milk for their baby varies. If all goes well, they will receive breast milk for an agreed time period after the birth. 

Pumping & Shipping Breast Milk

If a surrogate does not live within driving distance to the intended parents, the delivery process consists of:

• Pumping

• Freezing the milk

• Storing the frozen bags in a cooler with a cooling agent

• Placing the cooler in a box to ship to the parents’ location

 

Shipping breast milk shouldn’t take more than 48 hours to ensure the milk maintains the proper temperature. 

Surrogates receive weekly compensation for these efforts, regardless of the amount of milk, and they are reimbursed for their shipping supplies, all of which can be conveniently purchased online.

Pumping Schedules & Supplies

Kelly, Connie, and Jodie all agree that setting up a pumping schedule is key, especially when life starts to get back to its normal pace. Ensuring you have plenty of supplies on hand and a plan for shipping breast milk to the intended parents are equally as important. 

Weaning Off the Pump

When it’s time for a surrogate to break up with her pump, it can be difficult to quit cold turkey. Instead, surrogates have found it to be much more beneficial to taper down on sessions. Whether that looks like skipping every other pumping session or pumping for less and less time, a slow transition can be a good way to wean off the pump.

OTHER FEEDING AVENUES

Sometimes a surrogate’s breast milk is not a part of the journey, and that’s perfectly fine. There are many reasons this may not be the preferred option, and all are valid. It’s truly a personal choice and one that should be respected.

Breast Milk Banks

If a family wants to utilize breast milk but the surrogate is not comfortable with the idea or is not able to produce breast milk, intended parents have a few options. Women who have an excess supply of breast milk sometimes choose to donate it to milk banks for other families. The best way to go about this option would be to contact a reputable, local milk bank to find out how their process works. 

Other Surrogates

It is also possible to find a surrogate whose intended parents are not interested in receiving breast milk. If she wants to pump for a different family, we can connect them. Intended parents are also encouraged to share their desire to use breast milk at the beginning of their surrogacy journey; that way it can be a goal to be matched with a surrogate who is open to providing it.

Intended Mother Breastfeeding

Some intended mothers would love to experience feeding their baby, to which we say go for it! Something incredible about the human body is that breasts have the ability to produce milk even if a pregnancy has never occurred. Inducing lactation can be achieved for some people through alternative means. The best way for someone to go about breastfeeding this way would be to talk to their doctor about how best to achieve lactation and whether the process is a healthy option for them.

YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Growing Generations is here to facilitate conversations around breastfeeding and breast milk. We have a comprehensive help guide we can share with you and are here to ensure your journey, whether as a surrogate or a parent, is never walked alone. Feel free to reach out to us online or call us at 323.965.7500.

At Growing Generations, we guide surrogates and intended parents through ethical surrogacy to ensure healthy outcomes for our surrogates, intended parents, and their families. The idea that surrogates are uneducated and financially unstable women who are being led into an arrangement that they would not otherwise choose is common. When surrogacy is done properly these things are objectively not true, and these ideas can be deeply offensive to a woman who is motivated to help change lives.

When entering the world of surrogacy, you’ll hear about two main types: altruistic surrogacy and commercial surrogacy. The main distinguishing factor of altruistic surrogacy is that no monetary compensation is offered to the surrogate. Other than that, there are no significant differences between the two types of surrogacy.

ALTRUISTIC MOTIVES FOR COMMERCIAL SURROGACY

Commercial surrogacy includes monetary compensation and a contract between surrogates and intended parents who don’t usually have a prior relationship. While many people believe commercial surrogacy commoditizes women, we believe that surrogacy can be both altruistic and commercial at the same time. We deeply respect all of our surrogates at Growing Generations and believe they are some of the most incredible women we’ve ever met. So, it’s important that we dispel the misconception that surrogacy is about commoditization. 

COMMERCIAL SURROGACY WITH ETHICS

In reality, surrogacy is a partnership between several parties of educated, informed, and stable adults working together toward a common goal. This level of informed consent and ethical standards is paramount to surrogacy done well. Our gestational surrogates are women who have become mothers themselves and have enjoyed the process of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood so much that they wish to give this gift to others. 

SURROGATE PAY

While surrogates in our program receive compensation, the majority of them tell us they would have chosen this journey even if money was not exchanged. It’s important to note that we only work in surrogate-friendly states to avoid legal problems. 

Motivated by altruistic measures, these women are not only seeking fiscal gain. and this is something we investigate  during our in-depth screening process . We screen our surrogates thoroughly, including a review of their income to ensure that financial gains are not a motive for their choice. Our surrogates are women who are financially stable without the added compensation of surrogacy. They do not need this additional income to survive. Additionally, we offer a surrogate compensation package that is competitive but not excessive. 

SURROGATE SCREENING & CONSENT

Beyond simple financial matters, these women are vetted and counseled long before signing any binding paperwork or starting any medications. Our surrogates undergo extensive interviews and psychological evaluations, and they are given the opportunity to ask as many questions as they want before they’re approved to join our program. Surrogates can back out of an agreement at any time before becoming pregnant. We don’t force women to follow through with becoming pregnant if they change their mind. While this rarely happens, thanks in large part to proper screening, it eliminates any concerns over coercion. 

SURROGATE AGREEMENT CONTRACTS

All parties receive their own legal representative to ensure that everyone’s needs can be addressed and considered before moving forward with a binding contract. This ensures that, even if the surrogate is not fluent in legal jargon, she understands what she is agreeing to and has the opportunity to have those requests amended or even removed from her contract before moving forward. You can learn more about the legal aspects of surrogacy in our related blog post.

SURROGATE TESTIMONIALS

A growing family and the gift of a child are always worth celebrating – whether formed through altruistic or commercial surrogacy. When surrogate applicants are properly screened and vetted, the outcome is nothing short of awe-inspiring. Ethical surrogacy is a shining example of the mountains that can be moved when adults are informed, respectful, and working together toward a common goal. Each Growing Generations surrogate shares a goal of building families, but no two surrogates are the same. Here’s a look into the lives and experiences of these extraordinary people.

"Thank you for this incredible opportunity you’ve given me! Being a surrogate has been one of the most fulfilling things in my life and I cannot imagine doing any of this without you. Your support has been incredible and it means the world to me. I could never thank you enough!" 

- Christina S.

"Thank you seems like such a small thing to say for how much I feel.  How do you thank people for helping me with one of the GREATEST experiences of my life!  You each treated me like I was the most important person in your care." 

-Jennifer

BECOME A SURROGATE

If you're thinking about becoming a surrogate, know that Growing Generations is here to support you. You can get in touch with us online to learn more or complete an application to get started.

Growing Generations knows the first meeting between a surrogate and intended parent(s) can feel much like a blind date. It’s normal for those on both sides to feel nervous or anxious leading up to the event – whether it’s via videoconference or in person.   Here are some tips for that first of many meetings you’ll have along the surrogacy journey.             

• Take time to prepare. Before the meeting, do your due diligence to read over your surrogate’s profile and come up with a list of questions you’d like to ask. These can be lighthearted or more serious questions about topics such as carrying multiples. Discuss your ideas with your partner and/or support network, then write them down to have with you during the meeting. If you’re planning a video call, make sure you have a strong internet connection to avoid the awkward technology issues that may occur at the beginning if your call drops.

• Think about communication etiquette. Be thoughtful about the way you ask questions and what you decide to talk about. If you’re working through an agency such as Growing Generations, there is no reason to discuss finances or medical advice during a match meeting. It’s important to trust your surrogate and the expert guidance of their doctors and agency. Instead, ask questions about family, lifestyle, hobbies and what motivated them to be a part of this journey.

• Don’t do all the talking. You may get nervous and start rambling during the conversation. However, remember they want to get to know you as well. Invite them to ask you questions and be prepared to share information and stories about yourself.

• Set expectations for the future. This is the perfect time to create communication expectations. Will you chat weekly or monthly? Do you plan to have phone calls or in-person visits? Will the surrogate send pictures of her progress? You might even ask about post-birth communication. Think through your expectations before the meeting, and be prepared to compromise as needed.

• Remember what’s been happening behind the scenes. The surrogate you are about to meet has not been paired with you by accident. Our highly personalized application and matching process has led to this moment based on your profiles and desires for this process. With that in mind, you can breathe easier knowing that you’ll be speaking with someone who is invested in this journey just like you are. They have passed many screenings – an extensive application, interviews, psychological evaluations, a medical examination by an in vitro fertilization specialist, a criminal background check and a drug, nicotine and infectious disease screening – to get to this point. Simply focus on getting to know one another to confirm if you would like to proceed together. If not, we have a Match Guarantee Program.

Every match meeting doesn’t look the same, so these tips are just a guide to help you get started on a successful conversation. Remember that you can be yourself and don’t need to put on a show.

Did you know your surrogate is already “pregnant” before an embryo transfer even happens? It can be hard to comprehend, but that it is the reality of IVF pregnancies. Keep reading to learn more about embryo stages and development during the IVF process.

GESTATIONAL AGE 

In a traditional pregnancy, gestational age is determined based on the day of ovulation. Fertilization and implantation of the embryo typically occurs about two weeks later. 

In the case of IVF, and specifically gestational surrogacy, pregnancy works a bit differently. The eggs that will eventually become embryos are not allowed to travel from the ovary into the uterus to await fertilization. Instead, the eggs are retrieved, either from an intended mother or egg donor, directly from the ovary before they are released. This happens two weeks into a woman’s typical 28-day menstrual cycle. 

We talk more about this process in our related blog post.

GROWTH & EVALUATION

Those eggs are then fertilized outside of the body and allowed to begin growing. A reproductive endocrinologist closely monitors the cell multiplication over the next several days, tracking the stages of embryo development at the IVF lab. 

In the case of a planned fresh embryo transfer, the eggs will then be transferred into an awaiting uterus on either day 3, 5, or 6 of external development. In the case of a planned frozen embryo transfer, the embryos are typically frozen, thawed and transferred on day 5 of development.

In the meantime, the recipient of the embryo will be on a hormone therapy regimen that will cause their body to mirror where it would be in a non medicated cycle. This process allows doctors to create the ideal environment for the embryos to implant and grow before moving forward with the transfer.

EMBRYO TRANSFER

With this in mind, the embryo recipient walks into the fertility clinic on transfer day 2 weeks “pregnant” before the transfer even occurs. During the transfer, the doctor will migrate the embryo or embryos into the awaiting uterus. At the conclusion of the transfer, the recipient is said to be 2 weeks plus the age of the embryo pregnant. If a 5-day blastocyst was transferred, the recipient will walk out of the clinic 2 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

PREGNANCY STAGE

The term “pregnant” is relative to whether the embryos actually implant and continue to develop. A pregnancy test, which will consist of a blood test, will generally be done 10 to 12 days after the embryo transfer. If the result of the pregnancy test is positive, your surrogate will be somewhere between 4 weeks 3 days to 5 weeks pregnant. 

Around the 10-week mark, your surrogate will be released to the care of an obstetrician and the pregnancy will follow the course of a traditional pregnancy.

To learn more about surrogacy and IVF pregnancy, contact Growing Generations online. If you are considering growing your family with surrogacy, apply today.